Out into the world
by Foreverdreamingabouteverything
Summary: Kurt likes to be alone, away from the looks and noise and the expectations of the outside world. But sometimes…sometimes it just gets lonely.
1. Chapter 1

**Hope you enjoy this. it´s a short chapter, but if you like it, hopefully I will write some more. Please leave a comment!**

 **(English is not my first language, so please be nice ;) )**

Sometimes he feel like he is trapped inside his own body. He dosen´t know what to say or how to behave. With a room full of people he feels alone and awkward. Everything is just too much. Even if he knows some of the people, its just too much. He can´t stand it. He just want to be alone. In silence and peace in his own home.

He likes being alone. He likes the feeling of complete control. But he knows that the world expect him to act differently. He has to go to school and be around other people all day. It is exhausting to live through a day when all you want to do is go home and be alone. To surround your self with the things you love and control. To feel safe and to have peace in you mind.

«I´m never going to get a boyfriend,» Kurt says to himself.

Well, that´s the other «thing». Kurt is gay. He is a 16 year old, gay, boy who lives with his dad in Lima, Ohio. He does not have any close friends, he is afraid to let them in. They could brake the walls and the safe place he has created for himself. Of course he speaks with a few of his classmates, but that is just superficial stuff and rarely anything personal.

Nobody knows Kurt. Except for his dad maybe. The other kids at school probably thinks Kurt is a freak. They know he is gay. Everybody knows that, or at least that is what they assume, even though Kurt has not told anyone except his dad.

Kurt likes to be alone, away from the looks and noise and the expectations of the outside world. But sometimes…sometimes it just gets lonely.


	2. Chapter 2

Today is just like any other day. Kurt is trying to make himself invisible in the halls of McKinley High. He is not doing a good jobb dough, because he can feel the looks from the other kids as he make his way towards the ridiculous assembly. It is just an excuse for the Cheerios and the Glee club to perform. But they are mostly good, the rest of the assembly is just boring and unnecessary. It is mandatory, that is why Kurt is going, otherwise he would be in the back corner of the library doing his homework.

He is just longing for the time when he can go home, make dinner for his dad and be alone in his room.

Kurt is half way through one of his daydreams when the Glee club enters the stage. Something, or rather someone, caught his attention. A beautiful voice. Kurt can feel the goosebumps all over his body and he has to look. The beautiful voice belongs to an even more beautiful boy. He can´t stop staring. It is like something is pulling him towards the stage and this unfamiliar boy. Because Kurt has never seen him before. Maybe he is new at school, at least he is new to the Glee club, Kurt thinks. But he can´t be sure because he spend most of his days looking at the floor or hiding away.

For a second the boy is staring back at Kurt, and Kurt almost loses his breath and look away. The song ends and Kurt rushes out of the gymnasium. He just has to go home. His heart is beating fast and his feels dizzy. Maybe he is getting sick?

When Kurt gets home he feels better. And soon he is back to normal routine making dinner for his dad and doing his homework safe and sound in his bedroom. But he can´t help thinking about the boy and the thought of him is doing things to his body that Kurt can´t understand. Kurt wants control over his body and his feelings.

Thank God it´s friday. Then he can do whatever he want for two whole days and forget about this boy and everything he does not what to think about.

Suddenly his phone vibrates next to him on the bed. «Strange» was the first to come to Kurt´s mind. His dad is downstairs and he would just come up if he want something. None else almost never call or send messages to him. Maybe it is one of the girls from his class asking for some help with the homework. That happens sometimes, but not very often.

Kurt frowns, but of course it is from an unknown number.

From Unknown:

 _«Look up once in a while. I want to see your eyes ;)»_


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the weekend was normal according to Kurt. Because the thing that happened on Friday was not. But he has been thinking a lot about who could have sent the message. Kurt never answered it. He is almost sure that the message was not meant for him, that the person who sent it, sent it to the wrong number. That is the only explanation.

But what if it was the right number, that it was meant for Kurt. What then? And who?

All this thinking was exhausting, and It made Kurt almost forget the incident at the assembly. But as he now entered McKinley High it came back to him. This was all to much, and Kurt wished he could just go home and bury himself under the cover of his bed.

Then his phone vibrated in his pocket. Kurt looks at the phone and see that there is one new message from unknown. He is shaking as he open up the message.

From unknown:

 _«I haven´t seen your eyes yet. I would love to ;)»_

Kurt takes a quick look around. Clutching his phone in his hand. Nothing catches his eye. Everyone is busy with their own things. Except for one of the football players who walks straight into Kurt shoulder with a look of disapproval and disgust. Kurt almost fell over, but he manages to take a hold of his locker and steady himself.

«Deep breaths» he thinks as he lean agains the cool metal of his locker. «I need to be alone»

And when the bell ring for class he finds himself in the back corner of the quiet library.

That was the first time in his life he didn´t go to class. He just couldn´t handle it.

His brain was a mess and Kurt rested his head in his arms on the table. «Why can´t I just be normal? I´m freaking out because og a few texts and a boy I haven't even met before. What is wrong with me?»

The phone, he had left it on the table besides him, started to vibrate once again. Kurt took a deep breath and looked at the screen.

From unknown:

 _«I didn´t mean to upset you! I´m sorry….. :(…»_

Kurt felt himself go cold. The person that is sending these texts are right here, watching him. Without hesitation Kurt stood up, he quickly walked to the exit and run to his car. He was scared and confused and just wanted to be safe. And safe is home.

Luckily his father was not home when he arrived. Than he would had some explaining to do, because Kurt Hummel never skip school.

Kurt felt much safer now that he was at home. And his mind had slowed down a bit. It almost felt silly. There was nothing threatening in these texts, and the last one was actually an apology. But the «not knowing» was scary. It has always been scary for Kurt. He needed to have control over the situation he was in. That is the way it has always been.

With a deep breath he considered what would be the best way to get control over this situation.

He could ignore it, but then he would not know. Or he could try to find out who this person was and what they want.

Kurt picked up his phone and looked through the messages once again before he started to write back. And before he could change his mind he pressed «send»

From Kurt:

 _«Who are you?»_


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt sat in his bed lokking at his silent phone for almost an hour. He wished he hadn't pressed the send button. The question he didn´t know if he wanted the answer to…

Now he was thinking the other person maybe didn´t want to answer. Or they hadn't seen it yet. Maybe they were busy.

«I wish I could turn off my stupid brain!» Kurt shouted frustrated and tossed the phone across the bed where it landed face down by his feet. Then it started to vibrate.

Kurt slowly made his way down towards the phone. His hand were shaking again when he turned it around.

From unknown:

 _«Someone who wants to be your friend ;)»_

He typed back, before he could change his mind again.

From Kurt:

 _«What makes you think I want a friend?»_

The respons came immediately.

From unknown:

 _«Because you look like you need one»_

Kurt typed back, he felt dizzy and confused and exited all at once.

From Kurt:

 _«Oh…I don´t understad? You don´t know me…»_

From unknown:

 _«I see the way you hide, and the way your eyes almost never look up from the floor. You look sad, and lost and so uncomfortable….I see the way other people just ignore you and bump into you on purpose. I see the way you run away whenever you get the chance…I see that you are hurting. That makes me really sad… :(»_

Kurt stares on the phone again. He don´t know how to respond to that. He sits there and stares for at least five minutes. He feels numb. He feels like someone has revealed his deepest and darkest secrets and let them out there for everyone to see. He feels stupid and he feels scared. He feels som many thing and he does not know how to deal with it. And in some way he feels relieved too. Somebody has taken their time to see him and actually reach out to him. To Kurt, the 16 year old gay boy who don´t have any real friends. Who live alone with his dad, and except for going to classes at school, don´t have a life.

A new text light up the screen on the phone in Kurt´s hand. It is from the same person.

From unknown:

 _«I´m sorry if I was overstepping….I have to get back to class. Please text me anytime. If you want to talk or anything….-B :) »_

 ** _A/N: I would really like to hear from you. Do you like this story? Please_** ** _rewiew! :)_**


	5. Chapter 5

Burt Hummel, the owner of Hummel Tires & Lube and Kurt Hummel´s father´, was standing in the office of his shop, and he was worried. Worried about his 16 year old son. Burt has been working a lot lately and his son spend most of the day alone.

Burt and Kurt was each others only living family. Burt´s wife and Kurt´s mother, Elizabeth, died 8 years ago. Ever since it has always been just Burt and Kurt. He liked to think that they have managed quite well these past years, but now he was not sure anymore.

Kurt has always been the kind of child that liked to be alone, and was comfortable in his own company. But lately he has been more distant and almost never come down to the living room at night to watch TV with Burt. The times he does, he is quiet and withdrawn.

There is never any friends over, and he has stopped talking about the few girls he spedt some time with months ago.

How long has this been going on? When was the last time I heard Kurt laugh og smile? Have I been working too much to notice and ignoring my little boy? Have I been to tired to notice?

The questions in his head are spinning around, and Burt feels sick. He needs to do something. He need to be there for his boy.

In his mind he sees Kurt as a happy and playful seven year old. He was always shy around strangers, but in safe and known palaces he bloomed and came to life. He used to sing and dance and smile. He was happy when his mother was alive, so was Burt. Have they ever been happy since?

Something needs to change, he thought.

—-

«B», Kurt thinks. «B….» All he has got is a B. But he still don´t know this person. Is it a girl or a boy? He can´t think of anyone he know starting their name with the letter B, except his father.

His mind twisting and turning over a letter made him forget to worry about school the next day. The car seemed to drive on its own to McKinley High and all of a sudden he was standing outside the building. Reality came crashing down… «Deep breaths» he thought as he entered the school.

Half way through his day he was exhausted. Trying to disappear and be invisible drains him. He need something to get him trough the day. Maybe he can make an excuse to go to the nurse? Just to get a break.

Suddenly there is someone running past him in the hall. «Hey, B, wait up!» The person shouts towards the crowd in the end of the hallway.

Kurt´s head turns fast. He lift his eyes and looks at the scene in front of him. All he can see is a crowd of students walking in different directions.

It was a coincident for sure. B is a common letter in the alphabet. Surely it has to be many students with name starting with the letter B.

«Oh my God!» he thinks, «What if it´s not a student? Maybe it´s a teacher or something?» The thought has never crossed his mind before. And that thought is beyond creepy. But no student would address their teacher like that, with just a letter. No teacher would allow that. But the «B» in the hallway may not be his «B». Kurt´s head is about to explode. He need to find out and takes out his phone and starts to write

From Kurt:

 _«How old are you?»_

 **I would love to hear your comments!**


	6. Chapter 6

_«How old are you?»_

The answer comes right away.

From B:

 _«16 in a couple of months :)»_

From Kurt:

 _«How can I know for sure you´re just not some creepy old guy who likes boys?»_

From B:

 _«Well, you just have to trust me for now…I really just want to help and be your friend :)»_

From Kurt:

 _«I don´t trust easily….tell me something about yourself…You seem to know a lot about me, but I know nothing about you!»_

Kurt is almost angry at this point. He really needed that break from everything, but it´s still three more classes before he can go home. Kurt sighs and try to put himself together. His phone lights up

From B:

 _«I know so much about you because I used to be that guy…»_

«Oh,» Kurt says to himself. That he did not expect, and he does not know how to respond to that. So he don´t. But he feel a lot calmer when he walks toward his next class. And the it suddenly hits him. «I used to be that guy….that _guy!»_ B is a boy.

He cant´t help to feel a little bit excited about this news. A boy at the same age as him wants to be his friend. But of course if he knew Kurt for real, he wouldn´t. Kurt is an expert of bringing himself down. Just so he won´t get his hopes up. Because it will hurt to much when reality kicks in and everything goes back to the way it has been for ages.

The rest of the school day goes like Kurt expects. Boring classes, comments behind his back and «accidental» shoves in the hallway. He is longing for some time in silence, alone in his room.

Kurt turns towards the exit of the school when someone suddenly bumps into him again. He just sighs and continues down the hall.

«I´m sorry! I was in a hurry, Glee club is about to start and I´m late. I´m so sorry» Kurt cant´t breathe. That beautiful voice. It spoke to him. _He_ spoke to him. The boy with the beautiful voice spoke to _him_.

Kurt turns around and he literally can´t breathe. He looks into the most stunning eyes he ever seen. His body is tinglig everywhere and his heart is beating very fast.

«I´m sorry again. I have to run» The boy says and turn around and runs towards the choir room across the hall. When he is gone Kurt let out his breath and shakes his head. He can´t believe what just happened. No-one ever apologizes, no-one ever stops. And when someone finally does, it is the most beautiful person Kut has ever laid eyes on.

When Kurt drives home in his car, he can´t help but to think that this has been a good day. Well, maybe not good, but it has been a far more better day than the any of the days the last couple of months. As he walks trough the front door there is a tiny smile playing on his lips.

«Hello, Kiddo!» his father says as he kick of his boots.

«Oh, hey dad! Are you home already?»

 **A/N: Wow! Two updates in one day. That** **deserves a review doesn´t it? I would love to hear your thoughts and maybe suggestions about this story. -J**


	7. Chapter 7

Burt Hummel made sure he got home before Kurt that day. He wanted to make dinner for his kid for once, not the other way around. And he wanted to spend rest of the day with his son and talk like they did once. Because they used to talk about everything.

But he didn´t know how to start the conversation, and when he saw Kurt enter the front door with a tiny smile on his lips, he could feel a warmth settling in his heart. Oh, how he had missed that smile.

It gave him hope, but the smile didn´t quite reach Kurt´s eyes so he knew he still had a job to do. He needed to be a real father again. So when Kurt asked him if he was home already, he answered: « Yes, I thought you and me should spend some time together. I already made dinner. I made that lasagna your mother used to make, the one you loved when you were a kid.»

«Oh…thanks dad. Eh… can´t wait…» An awkward stutter was Kurt´s answer. «I´ll just put this in my room first.» He nodded towards his bag, the one he left on the floor when he took of his jacket and boots when he got inside.

«Sure» Burt said, and went into the kitchen to do the finishing touches on the family dinner.

Once they were seated by the table it was an awkward silence surrounding them. This shouldn´t be like this, Burt thought. When did the relaxed and comfortable atmosphere change into this, this cold and uncomfortable tension. This is not what a family dinner is supposed to feel like. How could I let this go on for so long? Burt could almost feel his eyes begin to water. But he took a deep breath and prepared himself for what to come.

«Kurt? You know I love you right?»

«Yes… I know, dad» Kurt´s eyes never left his food. The fork in his hand never left the food either. It just twisted and turned in Kurt´s hand, almost like Kurt wasn´t capable of lifting his hand towards his mouth.

«Are you ok, Kurt?» Burt looked at his son with worry.

«Yeah…I´m fine» Kurt continued to play with the lasagna in front of him. Burt knew he was lying to him. Everyone who took one look at Kurt could see he was not fine. Burt could see that now. He felt so ashamed that he hadn´t seen it before. He just prayed that it wouldn´t be to late.

«Why are you lying to me, Kurt? I can see that you´re not fine…» Burt´s voice was calm and he was not accusing his son of anything. He just really wanted to help in some way. But his inside was trembling and he was trying very hard to not scream and shout to get Kurt to tell him what was wrong. He knew that would only make things worse. But he couldn´t stand to see his little boy so small and sad and secluded.

«I´m fine!» Kurt stood up and showed his food away. He was shaking and Burt could see tears in his eyes threatening to fall. Kurt didn´t wait for his dad to say anything, he just rushed upstairs and run into his bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Burt was left alone in the kitchen. Silence overwhelming him. He fell back in the chair and let out the breath he was holding. That did not go as Burt had hoped. But he was now even more sure that Kurt was anything but fine.

 **So, what did you think? Please write a comment! :) -J**


	8. Chapter 8

Kurt needed to be safe. That was all he was thinking as he slammed the door to his room shut. Safe. Alone. Control. He fell on his bed and buried his face in his pillow and everything came tumbling down. He didn´t manage to keep control. He lost control over everything. His body was shaking and tears fell down like a waterfall. He was almost hyperventilating. The sobs that escaped his mouth was enabled to be kept inside.

When he finally calmed down, he felt exhausted, a shamed and embarrassed. His dad could not see him this way. He works to hard for them to have a normal life, a house and a garden. He does not have to handle this. His dad should not have to worry about him upon all his other worries in his life.

This is Kurt´s problems, and Kurt´s alone. He has to find a way to survive this on his own.

There is a soft knock on the door, and he can hear his father say: «Kurt, can I come in. We need to talk about this.»

Ok, maybe he can convince his father that he will be ok eventually. That he just has some issues to work through. Just some everyday teenage drama. That might work. He feel the control slowly coming back to him and he breathes slowly in and out. Kurt quickly get himself up into a sitting position on the bed, and he straightens his hair, and hope his eyes isn´t to red and puffy from all the crying.

«Come in» Kurt calls to his dad. Burt enters the room and sits down on the bed next to Kurt. They stay silent for a while.

«I´m so sorry Kurt. I haven´t been there for you like I was supposed to. I haven´t been a good father to you lately.» Burt said looking at Kurt. Kurt just looks down on his hands. He is trying to hold them still, but they are shaking. «I know you are struggling with something, and I want you to know that you can always come to me with your problems. I hate my self for not noticing sooner. I wish your mother was here…She was so good at this stuff….I`m not sure how to…to..» Burt stops as his voice cracks.

As his dad mention his mother, Kurt feels the control slipping away again. He misses her so much. And he can´t keep himself up anymore. He falls apart right there in front of his dad, just like he promised he wouldn´t do. His dad just hold him tight, like he used to do when he was a child. For how long, he doesn´t know. In the end he is exhausted and empty.

He can feel his dad lighten the embrace and straighten himself up. «Eh..d-do you want to talk about it?» Burt voice is careful and the sound almost comes out as a whisper.

«No» Kurt answers. «Not now. I can´t ,it´s just to much….» His head is spinning again and his throat is sore from all the crying. «But today….» Kurt whispers «…today was better…»

Burt hugs his son again and says: «We´ll talk about it when you are ready, kiddo. I´m glad today was better. I will always be here for you, Kurt. Please remember that.»

«Thanks dad» His dad stands up and walk across the room towards the door.

«Dad?»

«Yes, kiddo?»

«I love you to»

«I know»

Kurt lies down as he hear the soft click of the door. He is exhausted, his head hurts and his throat is sore. He need some sleep. But first he stretches down and finds his phone in his bag. He opens the last text and press answer.

From Kurt:

« _How did you stop?»_


	9. Chapter 9

The exhausting last night made Kurt sleep until next morning. He stretched his body and sat up in bed. The alarm clock hadn´t even rung yet. He felt lighter somehow. Not good, but lighter. It was a welcoming feeling. He reached for his phone on the nightstand besides him to turn of the alarm. One new message from B. He saved the number under the name B when he learnt about the letter the other day. It makes it more real, like a friend of his, when he´s part of Kurt´s contact list. But Kurt is fully aware that that might not be the case. He opens the text.

From B:

« _Stop what?»_

Kurt had forgotten about his message from last night. But he still wanted some help and just texting couldn´t hurt right? Even if he still don´t know this guy, maybe he could help. Kurt surprised himself. He is not so scared anymore. He is still suspicious and apprehensive about this thing, but not scared. He typed back

From Kurt:

 _«How did you stop being_ that guy _?»_

The response didn´t come right away. Maybe he´s asleep, Kurt thought. The clock was only 6.30 am. Kurt stood up and made his was to the bathroom. He needed a shower. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked awful. All the crying last night made his eyes red and puffy, and his skin was much paler then usual.

The hot shower was melting away rest of the tension from the day before. Kurt almost felt fresh and uplifted for a while. He got a reminder last night that is dad will be there no matter what, and that comforts Kurt in a way he hasn´t felt for a long time. But he is still dreading school.

«Will there ever be a day when I look forward to going to school?» Kurt wonders.

There was a new massage on his phone when he got out of the bathroom.

From B:

« _A friend helped me. I was bullied a lot at my old school…for different reasons…I used to act like you do, I tried to be invisible, never looked at people. But they always found me…But I´m good now thanks to the person who saw me for what I really am. I never stopped being me though, and I_

 _don´t want you to stop being you. Because that is who you are supposed to be. Please remember that, Kurt!»_

Kurt read the text in front of him several times. He felt like he was talking to a person who really cared. Maybe he was…Would anyone just make this sort of things up. And B knew his name. That scared him a little again util he realized that B probably knew his name all along. He got his number from somewhere, and you don´t get a number to a person you don´t know the name of. He texted back:

From Kurt

 _«I´m sorry about what you went through…Did you mean what you said?»_

From B:

 _«You have nothing to be sorry about, and I meant everything I wrote to you. And i still want to see those beautiful eyes ;)»_

Kurt gasped. If B told the truth, like he said he did, then this soon to be 16 year old _boy_ thought that he, Kurt, has beautiful eyes. This was almost to much for Kurt. But in a totally different way that he was used to. Before he could think about what to do next, his phone vibrated again.

From B:

« _I would love to talk to you some more,but I have to go to school. There is something I have to do before my first class. Bye, Kurt! ;)»_

«School» Kurt said to himself. «I totally forgot about school…» He rushed downs to the kitchen and started to make breakfast.


	10. Chapter 10

When Kurt entered the school, he for once entered the door on the side of the school building. He normally would enter through the main entrance, but today he didn´t. Kurt doesn´t know why, he just felt like taking a different route. Maybe it was because this morning hadn´t been like any other mornings.

This hallway led past the door to the schools auditorium. When he got there he could hear someone playing softly on the piano. It was like something was drawing him towards the door. He had to go inside.

He opened the door and the soft tunes of the piano got louder. He looked towards the scene and gasped for the second time this morning. He put his hand in front of his mouth to mute the sound that escaped his lips when he saw the person in front of the piano. Kurt backed up in the dark corner by the door, so he could not be seen if the person on the stage had heard him.

It was him! The boy, the beautiful boy. With golden eyes and curly hair. The one that made Kurt´s insides turn, his whole body tingle and his knees turn to jelly. The one that had Kurt mesmerized from the first moment he saw him.

And then he started singing. And Kurt´s eyes filled with tears.

 _Turn down the lights;_

 _Turn down the bed._

 _Turn down these voices_

 _Inside my head._

 _Lay down with me;_

 _Tell me no lies._

 _Just hold me close;_

 _Don't patronize._

 _Don't patronize me._

 _'Cuz I can't make you love me_

 _If you don't._

 _You can't make your heart feel_

 _Something it won't._

 _Here in the dark_

 _In these final hours,_

 _I will lay down my heart_

 _And I'll feel the power;_

 _But you won't._

 _No, you won't._

 _'Cuz I can't make you love me_

 _If you don't._

 _I'll close my eyes,_

 _Then I won't see_

 _The love you don't feel_

 _When you're holding me._

 _Morning will come,_

 _And I'll do what's right;_

 _Just give me till then_

 _To give up this fight._

 _And I will give up this fight._

 _'_ _Cuz I can't make you love me….._

Kurt couldn´t move a muscle. The tears kept running through the entire song. The boy sounded so broken and hurt. When the beautiful voice ended the song, he could hear a sob and he saw the boy dry his own tears, before putting the music sheets inside his bag. Then he walked of the stage.

The last time Kurt had heard him sing, it was a totally different song, and he was so full of life, so happy and dancing around the stage at the assembly. Now Kurt felt like he had witnessed a very private moment and he felt so bad for the boy. It was a private moment. The boy thought he was alone. Kurt could only imagine if someone had seen him in his room when he had one of his own break downs.

Kurt didn´t know what to do. Because he felt like he had to do something. He needed some advice, but he didn´t know who to turn to. Kurt doesn´t have any friends to turn to. Except maybe…He could try…Kurt doesn´t actually have anything more to loose…

Before he made his way to class he took out his phone and typed:

« _I think I need an advice…»_

 **A/N: The song used in this chapter is «I can't make you love me» (Bonnie Raitt)**

 **Please make a rewiew, I would love to hear your thoughts about how this story is developing :) -J**


	11. Chapter 11

From B:

 _«Advice about what?»_

The answer came during lunch break. Kurt had been worried all morning, he couldn´t get the boy out of his head. His heart was telling him to do something, but his brain was confusing him with all the «what ifs» and «you shouln´t have seen that» and «what can you do, you barely keep yourself together»

Sometimes he really wished there was an off switch for his brain. He wished he could just _be_ without all this thinking. And the thought of acting without worrying about consequences seemed like heaven. He had always envied people that could do that.

From Kurt:

« _There is this person, that i don´t know, who seem to be struggling with something. I feel like I should help in some way. But I don´t know how…»_

Kurt is a very empathetic person, but he often fails to use this towards other people because he is scared. He doesn´t even know why, or what he is afraid of.

From B:

« _Maybe you should try talking to this person? Ask if they need help in any way?»_

From Kurt:

« _But that is the problem….I don´t know how to talk to people!»_

From B:

« _You´re talking to me…»_

From Kurt

« _No. I´m writing to you…..»_

From B:

« _Still we are talking… :)»_

From Kurt:

« _It is two totally different things. When I write, I get the chance to think through before I «speak». I have the control. I feel safe. When I talk face to face I always feel so stupid, because I never know what to say. I hate that feeling…..»_

«Oh my God» Kurt is panicking. He sent the message before he could think. That was way to much information. He feels nauseous. The phone lights up.

From B:

« _You are not stupid, Kurt! You just feel comfortable when you are in control of the situation, right? Most people do. Some more then others. But maybe if you write down what you are going to say to this person it will help you. And maybe it´s not that bad once you get started. If this person doesn´t want to talk, you will know you tried. And if this person doesn´t like you for who you are, they are not worth your time! Courage, Kurt! ;)»_

Kurt lets out his breath. He suddenly feel like he has someone who gets him in some way. It´s a good feeling. He types back before he changes his mind.

From Kurt:

« _Thank you! I think I really like this person, and that makes me even more scared…Because I want him to like me.»_

«Oh, no!» Kurt gasped. His fingers seems to live their own life. And now he revealed his biggest secret. The world starts spinning, and he closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. «This isn´t happening!» The phone vibrates on the table next to the rest of his lunch, who are forgotten a long time ago.

From B:

« _He is lucky….»_

Kurt frowns at the answer. Did he mean that?

From Kurt:

« _Do you mean that? You are not freaked out over the thought of me being gay? Please, don´t tell anyone!»_

From B:

« _Of course not, I won´t tell! Would I call you beautiful if that freaked me out? I mean it: He is a lucky guy!»_

Kurt stares at his phone for the millionth time these past few days. «You never called me beautiful,»Kurt thinks «You said my eyes were beautiful, but not me. A least not until now…» In spite of that his emotions are acting like they were on a roller coaster today, a little smile is dancing on Kurt´s lips.

 **A/N: Comments, anyone?**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: This is a reply to the guest that made a comment after the last chapter, because I cant´t answer the reviews from guests. But I think I need to answer this:**

 **You commented on my quotation marks, that the these «arrows» should not be used. I know that they are not used in the english language but my computer settings is for my language and here we use the arrows. And I can´t find a way to use the right quotation for the english language. But I hope you will continue to read this story! (And I have read plenty of books actually ;) ) Thank you so much for the comment!**

 **A new chapter comes here for you all. Enjoy! -J**

The rest of the day is a mess. A boy thinks he, Kurt, is beautiful. Kurt admitted to someone that he is gay and he like someone. And he revealed other secrets as well.

But it is not the revelation that is making it all a mess, it is the thought of maybe having a friend and that friend thinks his beautiful and he want to talk to Kurt.

The mess is confusing. This is good stuff. Things that should make him happy. He is happy. This is what he wanted. But he is scared. Maybe it is not for real. Why is he feeling this way? Like it is to overwhelming. His brain is making him worn out.

«Why cant´t I just be normal!» Kurt is almost angry at himself. This is just stupid.

The next morning Kurt wakes up relaxed and calm. He feels like he has gotten his thoughts sorted out, and he can think much clearer now. Kurt almost laughs at the minor break down he had last night. It doesn´t feel so overwhelming anymore. But he still don´t know how to approach the boy.

Kurt´s father stands in the kitchen when he gets down for breakfast.

«Good morning, kiddo!» Burt says as he sees his son. They have been much more comfortable around each other lately.

«Good morning, dad!» Kurt smiles at his dad, and opens the refrigerator. «Eh…dad? Can I ask you something?» Kurt closes the door to the fridge without taking anything out.

«Of course, Kurt. Always»

«How do I get to now somebody? I mean, I don´t know how to talk to this person…I just…I don´t know…scared I guess…» Kurt fumbles with the string on his pajama pants.

«Oh, is there somebody special?» Burt teases. Kurt blushes. Burt got his answer.

«No..I don´t know…M-maybe..»

«I´m just teasing you, Kurt. Relax and tell me what you need to know.»

«Ok…I might like this person, but I don´t know him. I don´t even know if he is…y-you know, g-gay. And I saw something yesterday that made me think he needs help in some way. And I don´t know how to approach him or even be near him. But I feel like I have to do something, and I never felt like that before.» Kurt looks at his hands and he doesn´t see the knowing smile on his fathers face.

«You know Kurt, some people would just go straight up to the person and talk about anything. Easy as that. But I know you, Kurt, and that is not for you. You need a more softer approach. You need to know, before you act. Maybe you should find out more about him first, find out what he likes to do, see if you have something in common. Then it is much easier to talk if you have some common ground.»

Kurt smiles at his father and says. «Thanks, dad. And…thanks for knowing me.»

Kurt eats breakfast and get ready for school. School doesn´t seem so terrible today. Today, Kurt is on a mission. Kurt decides that this will be the day when things change. He just need to be in control of things, and then things will be better.


	13. Chapter 13

After his first class that morning, Kurt has a free period and he is once again found in the back corner of the library. This time he is not hiding. Well, it is good to get away from the looks and comments and the noise of the hallways, but for some reason that doesn´t bother Kurt so much today. Today he just needed a place to think and make a plan. He is going to take his fathers and B´s advice. He is going to prepare himself.

He gets out his notebook and opens a new and unused page. At the top he writes: «What do I know?» He scribbles down the few things he know, which is not very much.

 ** _What do I know?_**

 ** _Name?_**

 ** _Age? (Probably somewhere between 15 and 17)_**

 ** _Polite, said he was sorry for bumping into me_**

 ** _Glee Club_**

 ** _Can sing and play the piano_**

 ** _Beautiful_**

 ** _Hurt? Sad?_**

«Not much to work with,» Kurt frowns. «but it is all I´ve got.» He draws a circle around the word Glee Club with a red pencil. That is probably the best way to get to know the boy. He turns the page on the notebook and at the top of the next page he writes a new headline.

 ** _How to get to now «?» through Glee Club?_**

And he starts to think of different solutions.

 ** _Join_**

 ** _Spy on them_**

 ** _Rachel (the girl in my math class is in glee, I have talked to her before)_**

Kurt was thinking, but he could not come up with anything else at the moment. He was to scared to join the Glee Club. He hadn´t sung in years, all though he used to love it. But joining Glee probably meant he had to audition. And that was something Kurt did not want to do. That was a very scary thought.

Spying was something he could do, but there was limitations to where and when he could. But it was maybe worth the effort. He could gather some information sneaking outside the door of the choir room and lurking in the back corner of the auditorium. Kurt has become an expert in hiding and pretending to be invisible.

And then there was Rachel Berry. The girl that almost, sort of, used to be Kurt´s friend, kind of…. They have some classes together, and they are seated next to each other. Rachel is that kind of girl that even Kurt had talked to. Because Rachel always talks, and mostly about herself, and all Kurt had to do was answer yes or no in the right places. But it has been a long time since Kurt talked to Rachel, she probably got bored of him or something. When he thinks about it maybe she stopped because Kurt started to slip away from everything around him. He could try, she was never unfriendly, just a little bit annoying.

When his free period was over, Kurt had formed a plan. He decided to try to observe the glee club, and especially the boy, but he needed to do so without being caught. And he decided to talk to Rachel, under the impression that he wanted to know more of the Glee club, because he might be interested in joining.

For the first time this year Kurt was exited about something. Kurt took out his phone and wrote a new text.

From Kurt:

 _«Thank you for the advice! I am now on a mission ;)»_

B´s answer came just a second later.

From B:

« _I am rooting for you, Kurt!»_

He slipped his notebook and phone into his bag and walked out of the library. He felt in control and ready for his mission, at least for now. And that was a very good feeling.

 **A/N: A** **comment** **would be nice :) -J**


	14. Chapter 14

Because he didn´t have any classes with Rachel that day his mission was official, and he didn´t know exactly when the Glee club is rehearsing, he had to wait for the next day. And that was ok, because then he could prepare himself even more.

The next day started with math and Rachel was there sitting by his side. He was anxious. Thinking maybe this was a bad plan. He texted B under the desk, hoping he could get some last minute advice.

From Kurt:

« _My mission is about to fail, before it has even started. Maybe I should rethink this…»_

After a couple of minutes his phone vibrate in his pocket. He looked up to see if it was safe to check, and the teacher was trying explain a difficult equation to one of the students in the front row.

From B:

« _I believe in you, Kurt! Just do it, and remember what I said: People that do not want you for who you are, are not worth the trouble! Courage! XO»_

Kurt gasped and Rachel turns towards him.

«Are you ok?» She asked.

«Y-yes, I´m fine.» Kurt is shocked about the «XO» from B. But Rachel is talking and he just have to do this now, when he got a chance.

«But could I maybe….t-talk to you after class. About G-Glee?» Rachel lights up at the mention of Glee and whispers:

«Of course, just wait out side the classroom when were done here.» Kurt nods and turn his head toward his phone again. He silently thanking B for the «XO» that made him jump right into a conversation with Rachel, but he cant help thinking of the meaning. What did B mean by that?

The last 20 minutes goes by very slowly. Kurt is still nervous and he cant´t seem to get the hang of anything math related today. But finally the bell rings and Kurt jumps right up. Rachel is already talking to one of the other girls so he just packs his bag, walk outside the classroom to wait.

«What do you have next? Rachel´s question surprises him because was trying to blend in and not be seen like he was used to.

«Oh…eh…french» Kurt stutters.

«Great, then we can walk and talk. I have history, it´s right next to each other.» Rachel answers elated. She is always very enthusiastic. Sometimes it is annoying, but today Kurt thinks it is good. It almost fells like she actually want to have this conversation. Maybe she does…

«So…when do you want to join?»

«What..?» Kurt stops and look at Rachel.

«When do you want to join glee? We need more boys to sing backup, and I think you would be perfect. Do you need help with you audition? Everybody gets in though. One of Mr. Shues not so brilliant ideas.» She rolls her eyes and start to walk again.

Kurt stares after her with a confused look, before his brain catches up with him and he has to run to catch up with Rachel.

«I don´t want to join. I mean maybe but I just, just want to know some more about the club first.» He says when his right besides the girl again.

«Oh…fair enough, but I still think you will be perfect though. I like the sound of your voice, even though I haven´t heard you sing yet. So, what do you want to now?»

«Oh..thank you» Kurt smiles a little awkward and takes a deep breath and tell Rachel what he wants to know.


	15. Chapter 15

Rachel talked nonstop about when, where and even how. She even mentioned some of their names. Kurt doesn´t remember everyone, and he doesn´t know if she mentioned the only one Kurt is interested in. But she mentioned a guy named Finn several times, and by the way she described him it couldn´t be Kurts crush. He was obviously Rachel´s crush because she wouldn´t shut up about him. And Kurt got a lot more information than he asked for.

When they arrived at the right room for Kurt´s next class Rachel said:

«It was really nice talking to you again, Kurt. Í really hope to see you in Glee this afternoon. You could just watch if you want to. See you later!»

And the she was off before Kurt could find the right words to make an answer.

But he wouldn´t do that, go to the choir room this afternoon to watch. He won´t audition and he won´t be seen. Kurt is going to spy on the Glee club. He can´t help but to feel a little bit excited and the talk with Rachel was actually very nice. He never thought once about the noise and the stares and the uncomfortable atmosphere in the hallways. Maybe things finally was starting to look better.

The rest of the day was very uneventful, but Kurt was starting to get a little bit anxious about his plan once again. Kurt is looking for a good place to hide around the choir room, so he can observe without being seen, when he feel his phone vibrate in his pocket.

From B:

«Y _ou seem to have a good day. XO»_

B wrote those letters again. Kurt almost blushes when he reads it again before he answers:

From Kurt

« _I think I do. Thank you :)»_

Kurt slides his phone back into his pocket and look towards the choir room. And there he is. He is on his way inside, looking at his phone and smiling about something. That was the most beautiful smile Kurt has ever seen, and he can´t stop staring. He wish he was the reason for that smile. It is tingling all over and his heart is beating hard in his chest. There are several other who enters the room after the boy, some of them has familiar faces.

When Rachel comes he slips inside the nearest empty room, so she won´t see him. She is talking to a very tall guy who has to be Finn, by the way she described him. He looks a bit bored, but Rachel dosen´t notice.

At last comes Mr. Shuester, the Spanish teacher and he doesn´t close the door behind him, so Kurt can easily hear everything if he goes nearer. So he does, hoping that everyone is inside. He can´t see him from where he is now standing. That giant guy Finn is probably sitting in the way. Then he can hear Mr. Shuester clear his voice.

«Ok, settle down everyone. Today we are going to continue with the duets you have prepared. Finn and Rachel you are up next.»

The two of them rises from their seats in the front row and walk to the center of the room. And there he is, right behind where Finn used to sit. He is paying attention to the two in front, it seems like they are very talented, but Kurt doesn´t even know witch song they are singing, all he can see is the boy, the beautiful boy with black curls and golden eyes.

Suddenly everybody is clapping, and the song appears to be finished. Finn find his seat and is once again blocking Kurt´s view.

Mr. Shuester is very enthusiastic as he gets on his feet to announce the next couple.

«Very good, Finn and Rachel! And a very good choice of song. The last duet is Tina and…»

«Mr. Shue? Tina is sick today.» Kurt can hear someone say. He recognizes that voice anywhere.

«Can I just preform another song I have prepared, and sing the duet when Tina gets back?»

«Sure you can. The stage is yours, Blaine!»


	16. Chapter 16

_«Sure you can. The stage is yours, Blaine!»_

Kurt gasped when he realized he finally got a name on this beautiful boy. Blaine is sitting at the piano in the choir room and starts to play softly. Kurt recognizes the song. It is a Britney Spears song, and while he is listening a lump is forming in his throat. Blaine start to sing with a very fragile voice and the goosebumps are popping up all over Kurt´s body.

« _Notice me, take my hand_

 _Why are we strangers when_

 _our love is strong_

 _Why carry on without me?_

 _Everytime I try to fly,_

 _I fall_

 _Without my wings,_

 _I feel so small_

 _I guess I need you, baby….»_

Kurt is mesmerized once again. It is like someone put some kind of spell on him. He feel like he is floating and his blood is pumping. It is almost like Kurt can feel everything Blaine feels when he sings. It is so honest and Kurt can see some of the others in the choir room have tears in their eyes. The song ends and everything is quiet and Kurt is frozen on the spot in the hallway.

Blaine´s voice, thick with emotions, breaks the silence.

«I-I just need…» He point toward the door and suddenly he is moving towards Kurt.

Kurt is trying to make his body react, but it is to late. He is going to be seen. But in a desperate attempt to hide he is actually moving in the wrong direction and crashes right into the boy who is rushing out of the choir room.

For about two seconds, there is total silence again before Blaine scrambles to his feet, reaches out his hand for Kurt to take and helps him up. His eyes aren´t looking directly at Kurt this time.

«Sorry…» He says and rushes away down the hallway.

Kurt is trying to catch up with what just happened. For once his brain is shutting down instead of working overtime like it uses to. He can hear the Glee Club starting up again like nothing happened, or maybe it is something that happens all the time, Kurt wonders.

He is trying to work out what to do. And his brain is slowly starting to function again.

 _«_ B» he thinks. Kurt sends a text with trembling fingers.

From Kurt:

« _I kind of need your help with something!»_

He doesn´t get an answer. Kurt waits for a couple of minutes, but nothing. B may be busy with something and Kurt needs to decide what to do. He takes a deep breath and starts to move down the hallway where he last saw Blaine.

«If I needed to hide or be alone, where would I go?» Kurt thinks. The Library is Kurt´s first thought, but he doubts that is where Blaine went of to.

«An empty class room?» That is a possibility and at this hour it is several empty rooms at the school and Kurt has to be lucky to find him if that is the case.

And then it hits him. If the Library is out of the question, Kurt would go to one of the bathrooms where he can lock himself in and be completely alone. And so late in the afternoon, the school is almost empty and the bathrooms will be too.

Kurt stops outside the nearest bathroom door. He looks at his phone, that he has been clutching in his hand, one more time. Nothing. He opens B number and his thumb is hovering over the call button. He desperately needs someones advice. He presses call and while his hands are shaking, he lifts the phone towards his ear. All he can hear is his own heart beating in his ears.

 **A/N: The song mentioned is Britney Spears «Everytime». So, what do you think will happen next? Reviews are very welcome! :) -J**


	17. Chapter 17

Nobody answers the phone, and Kurt is kind of relieved. He doesn't know if he is ready to talk to B. But he don't know what to do about the situation he has gotten himself in. He does't even know if Blaine is inside the bathroom.

«Stop being so scared about everything! It might be a beautiful boy that needs somebodys help in there. And you are the only one here, Kurt!» He is frustrated and scared and shaky when he lifts his hand and gently knock the door.

There is no answer. Kurt can't hear anything, so he knocks one more time a little bit louder. Still nothing. He tries to open the door, and is actually surprised that the door opens easily. It is not locked, and Kurt is breathing trough his mouth and trying to control his body when he slowly walks inside.

There is no one to be seen when he enters. But suddenly Kurt heard a sound. It was like a broken sob, like somebody was trying to hold it in. The sound is coming from on of the cubicles.

Kurt doesn't know where the sudden courage comes from, but he walks nearer the cubicle, the only one with the door closed.

«Are you ok in there?» He asks gently Kurt can hear Blaine take a deep breath .

«I don´t know…» Kurt lays a hand on the door as he hears the broken voice inside.

«Can I help you? Do you want me to get somebody?»

«No, I-I don't want anybody to see me like th-this» Blaine stutters. A new sob escapes his lips.

«Do you want me to go?» Blaine doesn't answer right away, as if he is considering what he is going to say next.

«N-no, you can stay…Please stay…» Those last two could barely be heard through the door.

«You can talk to me if you want to. I've got time» Kurt is surprised of how the words seem to come to him without the usual trouble, so natural.

«I don't know…maybe…» Blaine answers. «But…but then I have to know your name. I refuse to talk to strangers.» Kurt chuckles.

«Of course. My name is Kurt» Silence fills the room. It is like no one is even breathing. Kurt is starting to panic. Maybe Blaine knows about him. The strange gay kid hiding it the library, that everyone seems to hate or just ignore.

«Eh…Hi, Kurt. I'm Blaine.» Kurt let out the breath he has been holding.

«Hi, Blaine» Kurt smiles and the relief fills his body. «Do you maybe want to go somewhere else to talk? I mean, we don't have to. It is up to you, but the decorations in here are just hideous. And it is not very private if somebody else decides to come in.» He can hear Blaine´s mood lighten.

«Ok, but I think I need to freshen up first»

«Thats ok, I'll just wait outside in the hallway.»

«Ok…» Blaine whispers and Kurt walks out of the room.

Kurt leans against the wall out side the bathroom, and waits for Blaine. He actually waits for Blaine, the amazing boy he has a crush on. And he has already talked to him. Kurt has, on his own, and he is proud of himself for that. It all came naturally when Blaine was so broken in there. He hopes it will continue that way when he see him in person. With his eyes and his curls and hopefully his smile, his wonderful smile. That, Kurt decided is his goal for the talk, to get Blaine to smile. And he is not so nervous anymore. Blaine is probably the one who is more nervous. Kurt would have been, if the situation was the other way around. He would have felt so vulnerable and small and even embarrassed.

Kurt was thinking and planing in his head like he uses to in new situations, and didn't notice the door beside him open, and he certainly didn't see the way Blaine looked at him before he cleared his voice.

«Eh..hi…» Kurt almost jumps at the sound and turns towards Blaine.

«Oh….hi» They look at each other before they both turn away blushing.

«So,» Kurt says after a while. «Where do you want to go?»


	18. Chapter 18

_«So,» Kurt says after a while. «Where do you want to go?»_

«I-I don't know. Somewhere private?» Blaine is obviously nervous and a bit uncomfortable about the situation. He looks at the ground like he is afraid of Kurt.

«I have a suggestion. And you don't have to agree, if you don't feel like it. It is all up to you» Kurt can't believe what he is about to do. This is so not him. He is many things, but spontaneous is not one of them.

«We could go to my place? My dad won't be home for another couple of hours so nobody will disturb us.» Kurt's face turn red and he is almost expecting Blaine to turn away from him and run.

«Ok…I just have to get my bag from the choir room and tell Mr Shue that I have to go.»

This is probably one of his dreams, and he is going to wake up anytime. Kurt waits by the exit while Blaine fetches his bag. This can't be true. Things like this doesn't happen to Kurt Hummel. But just one minute later Blaine is back, bag on his shoulder and a little more confident in his steps.

«So, do you have a car?» Kurt can see that Blaine´s eyes is still red from the crying.

«Oh! I didn't think of that. I don't today actually, it broke down. I took the bus this morning.»

«That's ok. I can drive you home afterwards. I don't mind.»

The drive to the Hummel's house is quiet and a little bit awkward. The boys don't seem to know what to say. They just look at the road and when the other is not watching they sneak a look at each other.

When parked in the driveway Blaine breaks the silence.

«I actually live not very far from here. It is just a five minute walk or something.» Kurt files the information in «The Blaine File» in his brain and says:

«This is were I live. Come on, lets go inside.»

Kurt fumbles with the key before he is able to unlock the front door. He lets Blaine in first and closes the door gently behind them. His heart rate increases by the thought of being so close to Blaine. He mentally slaps himself because this is actually not about himself. He is trying to help someone.

«Just go and sit down in the living room. I'll just go and get us something to drink.»

Blaine nods and turns towards the couch. Kurt enters the kitchen, and have to hold on to the kitchen counter for a bit just to calm himself and try to sort his brain. He takes deep breaths and until he feels calmer.

«So…how old are you?» Kurt asked when his is seated next to Blaine on the couch.

«16 in a couple of months…you?»

«16, so I guess we are the same age then»

«Yes…» There is a tension in the room and they don't seem to know how to break it. After a while in silence Kurt just jumps right to it. He thinks of what B said. _«I believe in you, Kurt. Just do it!»_

«Eh…do you want to talk about it now? What made you so upset?» Blaine doesn't answer, Kurt can see his whole body stiffens at his words. Kurt just waits patiently, he don't want to push Blaine into talking if he doesn't want to. They are silent for a long time before Kurt can hear Blaine take a deep breath and he starts to talk.

«S-something happened a year ago. I h-had a friend. We were best friends actually. Maybe more…We could have been more…If only…not» Blaine breaks down. The tears are flowing down his cheeks and his whole body is shaking in sobs. Kurt doesn't know what to do. He tentatively lays his hand on the back of Blaine shoulder, hopefully it will be comforting. He can feel the vibrations of Blaine's body through his arm.

«I-I'm s-sorry…» Blaine whispers between the sobs.

«Oh no…don't be sorry. It's ok. Take your time.» Blaine suddenly turns towards Kurt and clings to him. He is letting everything out, and Kurt can only put his arms around him and try to comfort the broken boy. The more Blaine cries, tighter Kurt holds him. For a long time the only thing that can be heard in the living room is Blaine's sobs and Kurt voice whispering comforting words.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:Warning for talk about death**

Burt Hummel was not prepared for what meets him when he enters his house that night. There is a stranger, a boy Kurt's age, sleeping on his couch. And thats not all, his son is curled up against him, his arms protectively around the other one, and asleep too.

«I'm not ready for this» Burt thinks until he sees the used tissues on the floor, tears marks on both of the boys cheeks. The unknown boy seem to sleep restless, and he is almost whimpering in his sleep.

Burt puts a hand gently on his sons shoulder.

«Kurt, wake up.» He whispers. Kurt moans and turns to look at his father. Burt signals him to keep quiet and follow him into the kitchen. Kurt gets up, trying not to disturb the sleeping body under him.

«Hi, dad. I can explain.» Kurt says as soon as he enter the kitchen.

«I know you can, and I expect you to do so, but do you need some more time first?» Burt nods in the direction of the living room.

«He had a rough time…» Kurt starts, but his father interrupts him.

«I can see that. You don't have to explain right now Kurt. I'll leave you to alone for a while longer.»

«Thanks, dad» Kurt gives his father a hug and goes back to the couch in the living room.

Burt gives the two boys one more look before he walks out the front door and leaves them alone again. He knows he can trust his son. And he is actually very glad to see that Kurt has someone over again. Even it is a boy and they were lying on top of each other on the couch. He trusts Kurt to do the right thing.

—

Kurt sits down besides Blaine again and watches him. He is still a sleep and Kurt can't help to think about what Blaine told him. His best friend died in front of him and his parents doesn't even let him talk about him, visit his grave or have a picture of him in his room. He is just expected to live his life like nothing happened. That's cruel.

« _He was my best friend in the whole world, Kurt. And I couldn't save him. Nobody could. He was to sick, and there was no cure. And then I had to move here because of other things, and I felt like I lost him again. There is no memorys of him here.»_

Blaine opens his eyes, and for a moment he is confused. Then he sits up gently and looks anxiously towards Kurt.

«I'm sorry f..»

«Don't! You have nothing to be sorry about.» Kurt gives him a stern look.

«Oh..well, thank you, Kurt. I think I really needed this.»

«Of course you did, is it something I've learned this past weeks is that it doesn't do you any good to keep it inside.»

«I haven't told anyone the whole story about his death before, and eh..the truth about wanting to be m-more than a f-friend to him…I think my parent kind of new, thats why they…. they are uncomfortable I think. It is easier for them to hide it away than talk about things.…The anniversary of his death is next week…» Blaine bites his lips, and Kurt can't help to think about those lips, how they would feel against his. But he snaps out of it, this is absolutely not the right time to have those thoughts.

«Your secret is safe with me, Blaine.»

«The Glee Club knows that I goes through something, but they don't know the whole story. But they tolerate me having minor break downs now and then. They are really great you know…» A small smile is forming on Blaine's lips.

«I just don't know how to thank you, Kurt.»

«You don't have to, but we could keep in touch if you would like to and maybe we can exchange phone numbers. I'mean if y-you need to talk o-or something.» Blaine stiffens and Kurt can see the panic rise in his eyes.

«Oh my god I went to far!» Kurt thinks and suddenly Blaine jumps up.

«Oh, fuck..!» Kurt can't help to think that was hot. «Look at the time, I should have been home hours ago. Thank you, Kurt! I have to go.» And before Kurt can react he is out the door.


	20. Chapter 20

Blaine Anderson is losing the control he has been working so hard to keep. It feels like the world is tumbling down on him again. The anniversary, memories of bullying, the relationship with his parents. And Kurt, sweet, wonderful Kurt, who doesn't get the connection. Blaine was sure he would, but he didn't. And Blaine has been kind of lying to him. That is bad. You don't start a new friendship based on lies. He just wanted to help Kurt, and he thinks he did, but Kurt wasn't supposed to find him broken and lost in the bathroom. He was the one who was going to help Kurt, not the other way around.

Blaine is walking towards the front door of his home. He wonders if his parents noticed he was gone all night. Probably not. They are living in their own bubble, and hardly notice anything what Blaine does. In the Anderson's house you never talk about uncomfortable things like feelings or that you have a gay son, or that your son was bullied so much he had to change school to cope.

You just put on a smile for the outside world to see. Blaine is actually pretty good at that, but lately he has been failing at that too.

He doesn't doubt that his parents love him. They are just distant and appearances is very important to them. Blaine knows deep down that they do care in their own weird way.

In times like this he really misses Cooper. His older brother moved out five years ago when he started collage. But them he dropped out and got a job in a bar in LA. So naturally, Cooper is no subject in his home either. Blaine calls him sometimes, but it is not the same as if his brother was here.

Blaine enters his house, and as he expects, no one is rushing towards him with questions or worried expressions. The house is very quiet actually. Maybe his parents is out. Most of the time they never tell Blaine what they are up to and when they get home. But despite his parents lack of interest in his life, he always have everything he need. Food, clothes and money are never a problem. Blaine sighs and walk upstairs to his room. He feels incredibly lonely in his own house sometimes.

When he has closed the door to his room, he tosses himself on the bed. Blaine is staring at the ceiling for a long time. «Kurt…» he thinks. «I probably messed up every chance I ever got to be friends with him» There is something vibrating somewhere in the room, his phone probably. Just a short sound so it is a text from someone. He is trying to remember where he left it.

«Glee» he thinks, «I had it in my hands when I walked into the choir room reading a text from Kurt. Then I put it in my bag, not my pocket like I usually do.» Blaine slowly rises from the bed and pick up his bag from the chair in the corner. He finds his phone and looks at it.

Two new messages from Kurt and one missed call, also from Kurt. Blaine gasps and trying to decide what to do. Maybe Kurt found out, and is furious with him. Maybe he called to tell him to keep away from him. Maybe…

Blaine has to know, so he opens up the missed call and look at the time. «3.32 pm» That was strange. He opens up the first message and notices that it was sent two minutes before the call.

From Kurt:

 _«I kind of need your help with something!»_

 _«_ That was probably when I was in the bathroom» Blaine's brain is working hard to catch up with something. He doesn't quite get it. Blaine opens the other message, that was the on that came minutes ago.

From Kurt:

« _You are probably busy today, but I don't know who else to turn to. I think I kind of messed up something. I don't know actually. I took your advice about how to get to know the boy I was talking about, and it went well. At least I thought so. But I must have freaked him out or something because he ran of when I asked to exchange numbers. I probably went to far and now he hates me…I don't know what to do.»_

Blaine gasps and his eyes widens. His brain is finally catching up. Kurt is not the only one who hasn't got the connection.

«Oh my god! Kurt likes me and has been trying to get to know me, while I have given him the advice to do so. This is really messed up…» Blaine falls back on the bed and groans. How is he going to fix this mess? Kurt will never forgive him for this. He wish he told Kurt that he is B, but he didn't know how to do it.

He needs to fix this. Blaine decides that tomorrow he is going to tell Kurt the truth. He has to. Kurt doesn't deserve to be lied to. He just has to hope that Kurt will forgive him for being scared and stupid. Still Blaine types on more messages as B., because Kurt need that now.

From B:

«No one could ever hate you! Please remember that, Kurt! XO»


	21. Chapter 21

Blaine doesn't sleep much that night. He tosses and turns in his bed, and when he finally falls asleep he wakes up an hour later from a bad dream where Kurt is drowning and he can't do anything but watch him go under. He is sweaty and his head hurts.

After a shower Blaine feels a little bit better, but not much. He eats breakfast but it doesn't taste good, and he takes the bus to school, wishing he had his car, so he wouldn't have to sit in this yellow box with all the cheerful and happy kids. The bus trip feels like an eternity, but still it goes to fast.

Blaine feels nauseous when he enters the school building. He walks towards where he know Kurt has his locker, and hopes to find him there. Kurt isn't there yet so Blaine waits. He knows he has to do this, but it still feels like he is going to faint anytime.

«Hi, Blaine» Blaine is so occupied with his own thoughts, so he didn't notice Kurt is approaching. Kurt voice is reluctant and careful.

«H-hi, Kurt» Blaine can feel his hands getting sweaty and his heart is beating hard and fast. «I'm sorry for…for running out yesterday. I….there…I» he is struggling to form a sentence. «I need to…»

«Hey, B!» Both Kurt and Blaine's head snaps up and turns towards the sound. «Do you want to work on the glee assignment today after school?» Sam looks expectant at Blaine. «Dude, you look kind of pale today, are you sick?» Blaine swallows, shakes his head and turn to Kurt. He can see that he's got it know, the connection. His eyes are wide and Blaine can see many emotions in there. Surprise, revelation, betrayal, hurt. And tears. Blaine can see tears forming in those beautiful eyes. But before Kurt's tears are falling down, he turns away and run.

—

Kurt runs. He doesn't know where he is going, he just needs to get away from Blaine, from B, from everything. Kurt runs until he is out of breath and his feet won't carry him any longer. Them he slides down with his back against a tree. He is in a park, and there is no one around at this time of day. And he let the tears flow freely. For a long time. Until there are no tears left in him. He closes his eyes and let his head fall against the trunk.

Kurt can't believe he was so stupid. He trusted someone he didn't know, and told him things about himself. And all this time Blaine has been playing games with him. Kurt feels betrayed and hurt and used. Why would Blaine do that, after all he has been through himself? Was Blaine telling the truth last night? Was it all a game? Is he that good of an actor?

The questions are floating around his head, the biggest of them all is «Why?»

Kurt knows that he has gotten several texts. His phone won't stop vibrating in his pocket. He is sure he can guess who it is from. But Kurt is not sure if he is ready to take a look, to be made fun of, for Blaine to laugh at him, because he was so stupid to just fall right into one of his games.

Suddenly the phone is ringing, and Kurt takes it out to reject it. «B» is flashing over the screen. The ringing stops when he presses the button, and Kurt decides to take a look at the messages anyway. He was right, they are all from B, or Blaine, because that his real name. He knows that now. And he wishes he didn't.

From B:

 _«I'm so sorry, Kurt! I never meant to hurt you. I was going to tell you.»_

 _«I'm sorry, please forgive me!»_

 _«I never lied to you, besides not telling you who I was. Everything else is the truth.»_

 _«Please, Kurt! Talk to me»_

 _«I'll be here, anytime….»_

 _«I'm sorry…»_

Kurt doesn't answer. He is angry now. At Blaine, at himself, at everything in his stupid and miserable life. Kurt just want to go home and bury himself in his bed, alone, away from the cruel world that keeps playing him. Kurt is defeated and knocked down once again.

Kurt gets up and walks back to get his car from the car park. For the second time in his life Kurt is skipping school.


	22. Chapter 22

Everything is back to the way it was before. Maybe it is worse than before. The days, the weeks are passing by and Kurt is just coping. He doesn't smile, he doesn't talk to anyone. He is alone. Invisible. And he wants to be invisible, because that is the only way he can cope with everything. It is to much, the hurt, the loneliness, the comments, the looks.

The only time when Kurt feels he can breath is when his is alone in his room. Away from it all.

Kurt knows that his father is worried again. Burt tried to talk to him, but he refused to tell him what was going on. Kurt knows his dad won't give up, but Kurt is not ready to tell. He just wants to be alone.

Blaine tried to stop him in the hallway once or twice,

«Kurt, please I need to talk to you…I'm sorry» But Kurt just walked away.

Blaine even came to his house, but Kurt convinced his father that he was sick and told him to send Blaine on his way. He hasn't tried after that. He stopped. Walked away.

It is Thursday and his next class is math. Rachel is already sitting in her chair when Kurt sits down beside her. He hasn't talked to her either, she just looks at him. Blaine probably told everyone in the stupid Glee Club and they are all laughing at him.

«He is very sorry for what he did, Kurt.» Rachel says out of the blue. Kurt doesn't answer. «He never told me who it was, but he told me he hurt someone badly and he is heartbroken» Kurt still doesn't reply. «I am actually very good at math, Kurt, and I can put two and two together. I can see the way he looks at you.» Kurt swallows and tries to focus on the desk in front of him. «And the way you react now tells me I'm right» The teacher enters the door, and Kurt silently lets out his breath.

Rachel doesn't say anything more, and when the bell rings Kurt hurries out the door, before she can catch up. The rest of the day goes by in a blur, so does the rest of the week. The weekend is better. Kurt doesn't have to go outside, go to school, be around other people. He can spend his days alone in his room, just like he wants to.

Sunday morning he wakes up in his bed. The sun is shining through the curtains and Kurt stretches his arms over his head and yawns. The house is very quiet this morning. Kurt likes it when it is quiet, but today it is too quiet. A restless feeling is settling in his chest. Kurt turns towards the nightstand and grabs his phone. The clock is 10 am. His father should be up by now, and he would have told Kurt if he was going anywhere.

Kurt stands up and goes into the bathroom. He showers and gets dressed. The feeling in his chest won't go away. Kurt tries to ignore it, he is sick of all the feelings. He is sick of everything. Kurt walks down stairs and enters the kitchen. The light is of, and there are no dishes in the sink. That is very unusual. Burt never skips breakfast. Maybe he is still sleeping? But Burt is a morning person. He gets up 6 am even on weekends.

«Dad?» Kurt is really worried now. «DAD?» Kurt yells. But there is no answer. His dad is not in the living room or the office down the hall. Kurt checks every room downs stairs. He is not there. Kurt runs up the stairs and into his fathers bedroom.

The bed is empty. Kurt heart is racing in his chest. He runs further inside the bedroom and towards the bathroom. He is shaking when he opens the door.

The first thing he sees is blood. And the he sees Burt lying on the floor. The blood is coming from his head.

«Dad!» Kurt rushes to his knees and shakes his fathers shoulder. «Dad wake up, are you ok? Dad, Please» Kurt fumbles with his phone and dials 911.

Everything happens so fast, and the next thing Kurt knows, is his father being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance, and Kurt is sitting in a waiting room scared and alone. Tears flowing and he is still shaking.


	23. Chapter 23

Blaine sighs. He hates Sundays. He hate to live in this big lonely house all by himself. Because that is what it feels like. Like he is living on his own. He barely sees his parents anymore. They are always of to work or some other important stuff that Blaine doesn't know what is.

Blaine makes himself lunch and takes the plate with him into the living room. He decides to watch some TV while he eats. He presses the remote control unconsciously, and it doesn't seem to be anything that catches his attention on. He sighs again.

For a while he just lies there on the couch staring at the wall. Then he decides to go for a walk, to get some fresh air. It is a beautiful day after all, even if Blaine doesn't appreciates it at the moment.

He walks down the street and turn right at the end, and enters the park. There is a bench next to a little pond. He sits down and looks at the pigeons and ducks for a while. They are fighting over some bread that someone has thrown into the water.

Blaine's phone starts to ring. Sam was supposed to call today, because they need to practice for their next glee assignment, and Blaine answers without looking at the display.

«Hey, Sam!» At first there is silence, and then he can hear someone crying. «Hello…?»

«B-Blaine…» A tearful voice is filling Blaine's ears.

«Kurt?!» Blaine's heart skips a few beats and he is sitting on the edge of the bench. «Are you ok?»

«No…» A broken sob and then some incoherently about blood, hospital and dad. Blaine jumps up.

«Where are you, Kurt?» Kurt manages to explain where he is and Blaine is already running towards the house and his car.

When Blaine enters the hospital, he asks for Burt Hummel and he is pointed towards the waiting room at the end of the hallway. Kurt looks so small and fragile there he sits in one of the chairs, arms protectively wrapped around himself.

Blaine sits down gently besides him. Kurt doesn't seem to notice, he just stares at the floor, his eyes are red from crying and he looks so scared.

«Hi, Kurt.…» Kurt sobs, and takes a deep breath.

«I didn't know who e-else t-to call…I don't have anybody else to call.»

«I'm here, Kurt.I told you that I would be and I still mean that. Can you tell me what happened?»

Kurt explains the best he can, and Blaine is listening. He gently takes Kurt's hand to help him through the toughest parts.

«And know I just wait for the doctor. I don't know how my dad is doing. And if he dies I don't have anyone.» Kurt breaks down again, and Blaine lets him. «I don't want to be alone…» They just sit there for a long time, Kurt is crying softly and Blaine is holding one hand on Kurt's back and the other one is holding Kurt's hand trying to offer comfort.

«Kurt Hummel?» A man is standing in the waiting room and looks expectant at the two boys.

«Y-yes» Kurt gets up on his feet. Blaine can see the panic is rising inside Kurt and he stands up and takes his hand again.

«I'm doctor Phillips, and your dad is going to be fine.» Kurt breathes and lets his shoulders down, and the doctor continues. «He is awake now, but there was quite a fall he had, so he has to remain here in the hospital for a couple of days for observation.»

«Can I see him?»

«Of course, but just for a couple of minutes. He need to rest, and the medications is making him very tired.» The doctor motions Kurt to follow him, and Kurt looks at Blaine with a silent question in his eyes.

«I'll wait for you, Kurt. Just go see your dad. I'll be right here» Blaine gives Kurt's hand one more squeeze before Kurt follows Dr. Phillips.

Blaine sits back down in the chair. His own emotions are threatening to break the surface. Blaine hasn't been to a hospital since his best friend died. It was a different hospital, but the smell is just the same, and the noises. He focuses on his breathing. Tries to control it with deep breaths. In trough his mouth and out through his nose.

«Kurt,» he thinks. «I have to do this for Kurt, I have to keep it together for him. He needs me»

Blaine manages to even his breath and he closes his eyes and tries to think happy thoughts.


	24. Chapter 24

Kurt leaves his fathers hospital room after ten minutes with his words still lingering in his mind.

 _«Go home, kid. I'll be fine, you heard the doctor.»_ Before he is out, Burt is asleep.

One of the nurses stops him in the corridor

«We will contact you if there are any changes for the worse, but that is very unlikely. Go home, your father will probably be sleeping until tomorrow. You look like you could need some rest too.» She smiles reassuringly and walks away.

Kurt finds Blaine in the waiting room, exactly where he said he would be. Blaine hasn't noticed Kurt's presence yet, and Kurt looks at him. He hasn't looked at Blaine for so long and now he can feel how much he really miss that. Because Blaine is so beautiful. But Blaine looks sad and pale and tired. But he is still beautiful.

«Eh….Hi..» It is awkward now. Because now Kurt can think again, not just act, like he did before. He probably looks like a mess and he is worried about what Blaine will do now that his dad is going to be ok. Maybe he will just leave. Kurt doesn't want that anymore because, he really misses Blaine, or B. And even if their relationship wasn't like any other relationship, and they didn't actually talk face to face more than once, Blaine was someone that said nice things, and stood by Kurt even before they met. And he is here today. As soon as Kurt called he drove to the hospital. Maybe it was real, all the things he said. Kurt can see that now, but he doesn't know how to express that.

«Oh, hey, Kurt. How was your dad?»

«He will be fine, but he is asleep now, so I can go home and come back tomorrow.»

«Ok, thats good» Blaine gets up and they walk in silence down the corridor. When they exits the main door of the hospital, Blaine stops and take a look at Kurt before he looks down on the ground.

«So…» Blaine starts, and then Kurt realizes something.

«I-I don't have a car….I came in the ambulance with my dad.»

«I'll drive you home. Come on my car is right over there» Blaine points towards the left end of the car park.

The drive home was silent. That helps Kurt to sort out his thoughts. There is always to much of them. What if? Should I? I can't. How do I? But he can feel that his body is relaxing more and that always helps. Kurt is grateful that Blaine seems to appreciate the silence too. It doesn't feel so awkward anymore.

Blaine stops the car in the Hummel's driveway, and he turns to look at Kurt.

«Will you be ok, Kurt?»

«I don't know» That was the truth, because Kurt doesn't know. He can fell the tears threatening to fall again. And he is struggling to keep them back.

«D-do you want me to stay?»

«No…I mean maybe…I…Please stay?» He whispers, just like Blaine did the day he broke down in the bathroom.

«Of course I will stay. For as long as you want me to.»

They enter the house and Kurt feels kind of lost in his own home. His father has always been there in the house, even when Kurt buried himself in his room and hardly talked to him. That is the way it has been lately. Kurt in his room, and Burt in the living room or the kitchen. But he was there, and Kurt knew that. Now he isn't. Even if the doctor assured him that his dad will be ok, he is not here and Kurt feels lost.

«Are you hungry?» Blaine voice breaks into Kurt's thoughts and he looks at him. «I can order something for us. Pizza maybe?»

«Ok, but can you please stay…I-I don't want to be alone.»

«I said I was going to stay, and I am staying for as long as you would like me to. Even if that means for a week or just for an hour. You don't have to ask, just tell me when you are ready for me to leave.» Blaine answers and he looks Kurt right in the eyes when he does.

«Oh…» Kurt can feel himself blush. «So…pizza then?»


	25. Chapter 25

Blaine is easy to be with. Kurt feels that he doesn't have to talk if he doesn't want to. Blaine is there and lets Kurt decide if he wants to talk. Kurt doesn't really know Blaine, and normally people he doesn't know terrifies him. But it is different with Blaine. But mostly they stay silent and Kurt has got a lot on his mind, so he needs that.

But after the pizza has been eaten, Blaine breaks the silence.

«I'm really sorry, Kurt…»

«Oh…It's…» Blaine interrupts Kurt before he can say anything more.

«Can I please tell you everything, before you say something? Then you can decide if you believe me or not.» Blaine looks at Kurt with pleading eyes and Kurt can see that Blaine is sincere and really wants to explain.

«Ok…» Kurt says and turns towards Blaine, curls up on the couch both boys are sitting in. But there is a comfortable distance between them.

«For several weeks ago I noticed this boy,» Blaine starts after a deep breath. «I thought he was the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. He always looked so sad and lonely and his eyes was never looking up. Always down on the floor. I didn't know who he was, because I had just started attending this school. But I could see that the other students didn't notice him, or they made comments behind his back. Some even walked right into him on purpose.» Kurt swallows and feel his eyes getting wetter.

«That made me so angry, and so sad, because I it was like I could feel what this boy was going through. At one point in my life I did know how it felt, I knew too well. I had to do something. I decided that I had to talk to someone who might know this boy, and I found out that my new friend at least knew a little bit. She told me his name, and she told me that he didn't use to be so sad and strange. She had given up on him, she told me, after trying to be his friend. He just secluded himself from the world around him. «But I will not give up, I thought. I need to do something.» One day, my friends and I had a performance at the school, and I sang a song. And while I was singing this song I found the most stunning blue eyes I have ever seen. But I had to look away, or I would never have been able to finish the song. Later that day I sent him a text message. I had gotten his number from my friend. He didn't answer me at first, and then I sent a new message. But I think I scared him, especially after the third one, when he found out I had been watching him. I'll admit that I would have been a little freaked out about that myself. But he did answer, and I think we got a connection and he opened up to me more and more. I signed one of the messages with the first letter of my name. Maybe I internally hoped he would know who I was. But he didn't. But after a while I wanted him to get it, so much. And when he started to talk about this guy he liked, I was so jealous.» Kurt gasps, but Blaine continues.

«But I couldn't let him know that, because I was supposed to help him, and maybe this guy would be good for him. And at this point I was a mess myself because of the anniversary of my best friends death. The boy found me when I was having a break down, and he was so kind and so helpful and so wonderful, but he still didn't get it. But I found out that the boy in his world, was actually me, and I didn't know how to tell him, but I decided that I had to, the next day. That was the day when he got it. He got the connection. But I didn't tell him.» Blaine bites his lips and looks at Kurt. Kurt can see that Blaine is nervous and he can see that he is telling the truth. Kurt dries the tears that is still falling down, and he is sure he once again look like a mess in front of Blaine. But he doesn't care, it is different with Blaine.

«I should have told you, but I was scared, and I am so sorry! I will not give up on you, Kurt, and I hope that you can forgive me…»

 **A/N: So what do you think? Should Kurt forgive him? -J**


	26. Chapter 26

_«I should have told you, but I was scared, and I am so sorry! I will not give up on you, Kurt, and I hope that you can forgive me…»_

«Of course I forgive you, but I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I didn't let you explain. I know there is a reason for the things we say or do, but when I get scared or uncomfortable I tend to run away.» Kurt lowers his look and Blaine puts one finger under his chin and lift his head up again. Their eyes meet.

«Please, don't do that anymore.» Blaine whispers. «Don't hide, not from me» Kurt nods gently and Blaine says with a smile: «Look up once in a while. I want to see your eyes!» And Kurt smiles, for real, and for the first time in a very long time. And then he starts to laugh. And he can't stop. It is like all of the tension and every little locked up feeling is flowing through his body and released by his laughter. It feels good and it feels like a huge relief and he can hear Blaine starts to laugh with him. They laugh until their stomach hurts and they are both drying their tears. When they can't laugh anymore they just sit besides each other, hands touching, small smiles are playing on their lips, eyes are staring and they try to even their breaths.

«Wow,» Kurt is the one breaking the silence this time, he let go of Blaine's hand and looks away blushing. His heart is beating very fast and hard in his chest, but if feel so good. He can't remember when he felt this good.

«I think I needed that.»

«Yeah, I think you needed that too. And I was right.» Blaine smiles

«Right about what?»

«That you are even more beautiful when you smile.»

«Oh…T-thank you.» This isn't helping the blushing. Kurt doesn't know what to say, but he can feel that Blaine is ok with that. He can feel that he understands him in some way. It is a good feeling to know that you don't have to say anything.

«You don't have to say anything» Blaine says and Kurt can't help but put on a smile again. «I know that it is hard for you. Just be yourself.»

«Thank you» Kurt says agains. And this time he looks right at Blaine. «There are many things I would like to say, but I don't know how.» He blurts out before he can stop himself.

«That is ok. You'll tell when you are ready. We'll just talk about other things or nothing at all. Your choice»

«Well, actually it is late and I'm exhausted…» Kurt stands up and gather the leftovers and their glasses.

«Oh..do you want me to go?»

«No…I don't want that, but your parents must worry about you…» Kurt stops and look at Blaine. There is an emotion he can't quite catch in Blaine's eyes, but just for a second and then it is gone.

«Eh..no..I sent them a message after I ordered the pizza, so they know where I am and they are ok with it.» The truth is that Blaine did send the message, but he never heard back from his mother, because she is probably busy with far more interesting things than her son.

«Ok, then…lets clear this table and go up stairs. I will show you around.»

«Oh!» Blaine jumps up from the couch. «I haven't…I mean I didn't bring anything. Clothes and toothbrush and….But I could go home and get the stuff I need, if that is ok with you. I swear I'll come back this time,» He says when he can see the panic rise in Kurt's eyes. «Or you can come with me? If you want to. It is just a five minute walk, but I have my car so it will be quick. Or I'll have to wake up very early to go home before school.»

«Or, I could just lend you some pajamas and I have a new toothbrush you can have. But if you want to go get your own, thats ok.» Kurt says.

«Ok, then I will just drive home and change before school tomorrow.»Blaine smiles, and they enters the kitchen and put the dishes in the sink.

«So, I'm ready for the tour of your house now, Mr. Hummel!» Blaine bows down and does a silly hand waving. Kurt can't help but chuckle.

«Very well, follow me then, Mr…» Kurt just realizes that he doesn't know Blaine's last name.

«Anderson»

«Mr. Anderson, this way to the bedroom.» They smile and laugh at their own silly behavior and walks up stairs.

When they are up and Kurt is standing outside his room, it hits him. He hasn't thought this through, this sleeping arrangement. He never had anybody sleeping over. They have got a spare room that was supposed to be a guest room, but it is just used for storage since they never needed an extra bedroom.

Kurt has a large bed, but he doesn't know if Blaine would be comfortable with sharing with him. He doesn't know if he is comfortable with it himself either. They don't know each other that well. Blaine notices that Kurt is hesitant.

«Are you ok, Kurt?»


	27. Chapter 27

Blaine can see the way Kurt's body stops at the door, and he hesitates.

«Are you ok, Kurt?» Blaine asked gently. «Have you changed your mind? It is ok if you want me to go»

«No…I-It's just that I-I haven't done this before…I haven't slept with anyone before…» Blaine's eyes widens and his mind stopped functioning for a second.

«Oh my god!» Kurt blurts out. «I didn't mean…I haven't…I…sleep…not…» Kurt's face is red like a tomato and his sentences seem to have vanished. Blaine can't help but laugh when his brain is starting up again.

«I mean…not shared a bed…not s-sex…but I haven't slept with any…oh my God. I'll stop now» Kurt turns his head toward the floor and his eyes is tightly shut. His squeezes his arms around his body and his knuckles are turning white.

«Kurt..» Blaine smiles and tilt Kurt's head up with his hand. «I thought we agreed that you shouldn't hide from me again. Look at me» Kurt lifts his head and looks into Blaine's eyes. «I know what you meant, Kurt. And we are just going to sleep. I'll sleep were ever you want me to. The couch down stairs, the floor or your bed. Your choice.» He can see that Kurt relaxes at his words «But, you should now…»Blaine starts «…that you are very adorable when you blush and stutter.»

Kurt's cheeks heath up again.

«Oh..» Was all he was capable of saying at the moment.

They enter Kurt's bedroom, and Blaine smiles reassuringly toward Kurt.

«Your room is very nice, and cozy.» Blaine says. «And it is very you»

«Thank you» Kurt is looking in his dresser for an extra pair of pajamas for Blaine, and Blaine can still see he is trying to act normal, but he is clearly still feeling embarrassed.

«Here», Kurt turns around handing Blaine the pajamas and point towards his bathroom. «The bathroom is over there and there is a spare toothbrush in the cabinet over the sink.

«Thank you.» Blaine enters the bathroom and stops infront of the mirror. He lets his breath out and leans over the sink.

He can't believe all that has happened today. He is here in Kurt's home, and he is going to sleep next to this wonderful and gorgeous boy. Blaine has been holding it together all day, for Kurt, but now he is freaking out. He feels so many things at once and he doesn't know how to keep himself from doing the things he want to do with Kurt. But he has to, at least until he is certain that Kurt wants the same things. He knows that Kurt likes him, but he doesn't know if he likes him enough or if Kurt is ready for something more than friendship. Because Kurt is his friend now, right? Blaine sighs and tries to control his body and his urges, and finds the toothbrush in the cabinet.

When Blaine comes out of the bathroom he can see Kurt sitting on his bed looking at something. It seems like a picture frame and Blaine walks over towards the other boy. Kurt shows him a picture of a woman. She is very beautiful, and she has kind blue eyes, just like Kurt.

«It is my mom» Kurt starts and Blaine sits down besides him. «She died when I was eight, and every night I talk to her picture, imagining she can hear me. I know it is stupid, but it is comforting in some way.»

«It is not stupid, I talk to my friend all the time. He's name was Kevin. I don't think I told you that. It is good to know that somebody out there listens to you.»

«Yes…» Kurt puts the picture frame down on his nightstand and stands up. «I'll just go to the bathroom and get ready» He picks up his pajama and closes the door behind him.

Blaine is once again alone. He doesn't know what to do. He can't lay down in bed, because he doesn't know witch side Kurt sleeps on, and he doesn't want to scare Kurt. So he waits for Kurt to take the lead. He just looks aimlessly around the room and waits.


	28. Chapter 28

«Oh my God!» Kurt is mentally slapping himself. He is screaming inside. Angry and embarrassed. «Why can't I say things properly. I always make a fool of myself.» But Blaine seemed to understand, and he is so kind about Kurt's stuttering and embarrassing words.

And seeing Blaine in Kurt's pajamas wasn't helping either. The thought of Blaine wearing his clothes is very hot some how, and now Blaine is going to sleep in the same bed as him.

«Oh my God!» Kurt breathes again. He can't think about that, his body is reacting just by thinking about Blaine that way, and he can't go out facing him like this. He tries to calm down thinking about other stuff. But thinking about Blaine is pretty much all his brain can do right now.

Kurt is very well aware of that Blaine likes him. And Kurt knows that he likes him too, but he is scared, like always. And Kurt wants Blaine to understand him completely so he can be comfortable around him. The strange thing is that Blaine understands him more than Kurt understand himself sometimes, but he still need to tell Blaine about himself, so he can be sure. But he doesn't know how or where to begin. Maybe today was a start he thinks. He did call Blaine when he was scared and alone at the hospital, and he did talk to him. Maybe a part of him trust Blaine enough to let him in? Blaine has told him things he hasn't told anyone else, and he has been nothing but kind and lovely. Maybe it is time to start trusting people. A least one person. The one sitting in his bedroom, in Kurt's pajamas.

«Maybe you already do trust him?» Kurt tells himself, «You let him into your house and he is going to spend the night. You don't let people do that unless you trust them.» Maybe this trusting thing is sneaking up on him? Kurt breathes out and enters through the bathroom door into his room.

«So…» Blaine says when Kurt comes into the room. «Witch side of the bed do you sleep on?»

«Right» Kurt answers. Nodding towards where Blaine is sitting.

«Ok» Blaine stands up and walk around to the other side of the bed. «You are completely sure about this, Kurt?I can still sleep on the floor or the couch.» Blaine stops and looks right into Kurt's eyes.

«Yes» Kurt whispers and both boys turn towards the bed. In silence they lay down on each side. Kurt turns of the light. For a while both of them is just looking at the ceiling. Then Blaine gently grabs Kurt's hand and gives it a squeeze.

«Good night, Kurt!» He whispers

«Good night, Blaine!» Kurt doesn't let go of Blaine's hand. He can feel the warmth from Blaine flow through his body and his heart beating fast again.

They stay that way for a long time. Listening to each others breath, hand in hand in the dark, and in completely silence. Kurt tries to synchronies his breathing with Blaine's. And he feels much calmer and a comfortable drowsiness is falling over him.

«Are you awake?» Kurt decides that this is the moment. He is so relaxed and comfortable, and the darkness is making it easier. He can just see Blaine as a shadow besides him, and somehow that is more comforting than scary. And Blaine's hand in his is like a safe harbor. Kurt's question is barely audibly.

«Yes…» Blaine whispers from the left side of Kurt.

«I think I'm ready to tell…tell you about myself. I-I need you t-to know.» Kurt can feel Blaine tightens his grip on his hand.

«Ok, I'm not going anywhere.» Blaine rolls over on his side, facing Kurt, but he is not letting go of Kurt's hand. «Is this ok?» He asked gently.

«Yes» Kurt answers and he does the same. They are closer now, face to face, just inches away from each other, but it still feels safe. It is like the only thing separating them is the dark. And Kurt's internal walls. But he can feel them falling closer to the ground, brick by brick. He takes one last deep breath and starts.


	29. Chapter 29

«If I'm going to t-tell you everything I-I've got on my mind, I need you to just listen. Ok?» Kurt says.

«Of course, Kurt» Blaine answer and squeezes Kurt's hand again.

«And If you don't w-want to b-be my f-friend when I have t-told you about me, please just t-tell me…»

«Kurt» Blaine takes Kurt's hand in both of his and he is even closer to Kurt now. «Listen to me, nothing, and I mean nothing you tell me will change the way I feel about you! Because you are so wonderful and kind and awesome.»

«oh…ok…» Kurt is glad there is darkness surrounding them, because he is pretty sure his face is very red because of what Blaine said.

«And I will keep quiet and let you talk, unless you want me to say something.»

«Ok…thank you, Blaine» Kurt is trying to focus on Blaine's breath again to get control over his own.

«I-I want to tell you, because I need you to understand me, t-the way I act, why I don't talk to people, why I hide.» Once he has started the words seem to flow freely for once.

«I have always been a person that likes quiet places and places with few or no people at all. I like to sit in my room by myself, listening to music, thinking, or just be. That is when I feel the most comfortable. I never know what to say around people, and that is just not people I don't know, that is also persons that I have known for a while. I feel so stupid around others and if I have to talk, something I avoid if I can, I blurt out something stupid and I get angry at myself for doing it. I get very tired when I'm exposed to lots of noise and people all day, and I hide away in the library. I need to be alone. I can always feel the way the other students look at me in the halls of school, like a creep, a stranger, a nobody. But I need to shut myself out from the world in order to survive. At least that is what it feels like. And sometimes, a lot of times actually, I wish I could walk up to someone and just talk, to make a new friend. But I need to be in control over the situation, and you can't control what other people say or do.» Kurt cant't stop when he is finally letting everything out, he just breathes and continue.

«My mother died when I was eight, and I think, because that I what I do, I think all the time and too much. But I think that when my mother died things very slowly turned for the worse. I used to sing and dance, I used to love it. I don't remember when or why I stopped. But when I figured out that I was even more different form other people, that I liked boys the way I was supposed to like girls, I started to hide even more. It became very lonely. Before that it was never lonely, I was comfortable alone, never bored. But now…I don't think anyone would like to be my friend.» Kurt can feel that Blaine is struggling not to talk besides him.

«For the past two years I feel like I have lived my life inside my head. I dream of so many things, and I prepare every conversation inside long before I have to speak, I need control over every little thing that I do. I hate to open the door if the door bell rings, because I can't prepare for what to come if I do. I need to think a lot before I do anything, even the smallest things and I am so tired of it. I just want to live my life and be happy like everyone else. I don't know what is wrong with me….» Kurt doesn't know when he started to cry, but he can feel the pillow beneath him getting wet, Blaine's hand is still resting in his, warm and comfortable. Kurt is scared, scared of what Blaine might think now and maybe he will leave even if he said he wouldn't. His breathing is getting heavier and he is on the verge of panic. He can feel Blaine move besides him and his hand finds Kurt's shoulder, he squeezes it gently.

«Kurt, relax! Take deep breaths, I'm still here.» He pulls Kurt closer so Kurt's head is resting on Blaine's chest and he hugs him and whisper softly into Kurt's hair. «I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere»

Blaine's warm embrace helps Kurt to relax and calm down. And his breathing is settling back to normal. Kurt tries to slide back to his side of the bed, but Blaine is holding him back in a tight grip.

«There is nothing wrong with you, Kurt! I like you just the way you are, and I would love to be your friend and maybe….» Blaine doesn't finish the sentence. He clears his voice and says: «I would never want you to be uncomfortable around me, and I will never do anything you don't want me to. But, can I please turn the light on? I want to see that you are ok.»

«Ok» Kurt whisper, and Blaine leans over Kurt to turn the switch on, and the room lights up. Blaine rolls back and stops and looks down on Kurt.

«Hi…» He says and dries one of Kurt's tears away with his thumb.

«Hi…» Kurt whispers back and lock his eyes with Blaine's beautiful hazel.

 **A/N: I would love to hear more from you! What do** **you think of where this is going? -J**


	30. Chapter 30

_«Hi…» He says and dries one of Kurt's tears away with his thumb._

 _«Hi…» Kurt whispers back and lock his eyes with Blaine's beautiful hazel._

The boys stare into each others eyes for a while. Kurt can feel Blaine's soft and warm breath on his face, his heart rate increases and he lifts his head and closes the gap between them. He doesn't know where he got the courage from. His body just works on its own, and his brain is not the one in charge anymore. Kurt can feel Blaine's surprised gasp against his lips, before he relaxes and leans toward Kurt.

It is more than everything Kurt has ever dreamed of. Fireworks and electricity is flowing through his body all at once. Blaine is so soft and warm against his lips. Kurt doesn't think anymore, he just feels.

When the boys separate they are both out of breath, they are lying on their sides facing each other, noses almost touching and eyes locked.

«Wow…» Kurt breathes

«I agree» Blaine smiles and gives Kurt one more small kiss on the lips. «I really liked that.»

«Yes..I…wow» Kurt smiles and moves closer to Blaine. «I'm really tired now, but can you please hold me when we sleep?»

«I would love to» Blaine answers and snuggles closer and holds Kurt in a tight and warm embrace.

They fall asleep, exhausted from all the emotions and confessions of the day. None of them remembers to set the alarm on their phones, and they sleep tight together all night and through the early hours of the day. They are still asleep when the bell rings for their first class to start and two hour later when Kurt starts to move in his sleep, Blaine is awake. He is just looking at the beautiful boy by his side. He smiles when he remembers the kisses and the touches.

Kurt's eyes open slowly and Blaine can see the confusion in them before his brain catches up and Kurt turn towards Blaine and finds his eyes.

«Hi…» Kurt whispers, his voice hoarse from sleeping.

«Good morning, sleepyhead!» Blaine smiles.

«Oh my God!» Kurt sits up and looks for his phone on the nightstand. «What time is it?» He gasps when he sees the clock and turn towards Blaine. «School! We're late! I can't skip anymore classes. I don't do that!»

«Relax, Kurt! You've got a pretty good reason to this time.» Blaine pulls Kurt down towards him on the bed.

«I don't think this,» Kurt points his finger at between them. «is a valid reason to stay at home!»

«No, I didn't mean that.» Blaine take both of Kurt's hand in his «I was talking about you father, and the emotional day you had yesterday.» Kurt turns white at the thought about his father.

«Oh no! How could I forget…»

«Kurt, he is going to be ok, remember?» Kurt breathes out and relaxes against Blaine's touch. «And you didn't forget, you body just needed to think of something else. It is ok.»

Kurt and Blaine is very comfortable where they are, but their stomachs are protesting loudly.

«I think it is time for breakfast, or maybe lunch» Kurt decides and climb out of the bed. «Do you want to get a shower before we eat?» Kurt feels dizzy of the thought of Blaine naked in his shower, but he tries to act normal and control his body's reactions.

«I think I'll just freshen up a bit, and maybe you could come with me to my house so I can get a shower there and some clean clothes, after breakfast. I'll go down to find something to eat while you take a shower, if that is ok?»

«Ok» Kurt smiles while Blaine gives him a small, warm kiss on the cheek.

When Kurt comes downs stairs after the shower he finds Blaine humming in the kitchen making pancakes. He stops at the door for a minute to look at him. His back is facing towards Kurt, still in Kurt's pajamas and he is dancing along with his humming. Kurt doesn't recognize the song, but he loves hearing Blaine's voice and Kurt can't believe that he is in his kitchen making breakfast for Kurt, after spending the night together.

«So…how long have you been staring at me?» Blaine voice breaks through Kurt's daydreaming.

«Eh…I wasn't….» Blaine smiles at the stuttering boy in front of him.

«Mhm…I don't believe you. But pancakes are ready to be eaten, so I will have to let you of the hook this time, if you give me a kiss» Kurt laughs and walks to where Blaine is standing. He closes the gap and feel Blaine's warm lips meet his. Still fireworks.


	31. Chapter 31

Kurt and Blaine decides to walk to the Anderson house. It is only a five minute walk, and the weather is nice and the air is fresh. Most people are at work or at school so the streets are quiet, and the boys walk in comfortable silence side by side.

«This is it.» Blaine says and points towards a rather large house on the left.

«Wow, it is a beautiful house!» Kurt says with an impressed voice.

«Well, don't judge a book by its cover….» Blaine unlocks the door and motions for Kurt to enter. Kurt knows that Blaine has a strained relationship with his parents, a least that is what Kurt is guessing from the little Blaine has told him. But he is clearly not ready to talk about everything that has been going on in his life, and Kurt is not going to push him. Because Kurt knows that things like that is hard to talk about and he is so grateful that Blaine didn't push him into telling before he was ready.

«Just make yourself at home. I'll just get a quick shower and grab some clothes and stuff in my bag.» Blaine says as they enter his bedroom. The room is a bit bigger than Kurt's and it is nicely decorated, but there is like something is missing in there. Kurt can't figure out what. He sits down on the bed and let his eyes wander. He smiles when he sees the Harry Potter books, all seven, on the top shelf above Blaine's desk. Then it hits him. The room is very impersonal. Very little in here tells him what kind of person Blaine is, expect for the bookshelf maybe. Everything else is nice and neat and very put together. No family pictures, no pictures of friends, no posters, nothing. But before he can think more about that Blaine comes out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his hips, wet curly hair is falling down his forehead. Drops of water falling down his tanned, naked chest. Kurt's jaw drops and his loses his ability to breathe. Blaine is gorgeous.

«I-I forgot to bring the clothes with me» Blaine says and hurries towards his wardrobe. Kurt turns away, trying to catch his breath, blushing. Soon he hears Blaine close the bathroom door once again and Kurt is alone with his thoughts of one incredibly sexy, half naked Blaine.

When Blaine is finished in the bathroom, he packs his bag in a hurry, like he can't wait to get out of the house. He turns towards Kurt and he sees that Kurt is struggling. He can't look Blaine in the eyes.

«What is wrong, Kurt?» Blaine gets worried.

«Nothing…»

«It doesn't seem like nothing. Can you please look at me?»

«No…I can't right now.» Blaine is seriously worried now. He sits down besides Kurt on the bed.

«Please, Kurt. Did I do something wrong? Please tell me…» Kurt still won't look at Blaine.

«No, you didn't…not intentionally…» Kurt is embarrassed and Blaine is very confused.

«Please tell me what I did, intentionally or not…I don't understand…» Blaine is looking at Kurt with pleading eyes, but Kurt is just looking at the hands in his lap.

«You…almost naked…my body is reacting to, to y…, d-doing things on its own…»

«Ok?…I don't underst…OH!» Blaine suddenly gets it and he his skin turns red in a second. « I'm sorry…»

«Not your fault»

«Not yours either, Kurt! You can't help the way your body is reacting to m…stuff…» Blaine says

«But I don't want to lose control over myself….» Blaine turns to look at Kurt again, he need to act cool about this for Kurt even though he is freaking out inside. Because Kurt is reacting _that_ way and because of _him_.

«This is me, Kurt. I would never do anything to hurt you. I would never do anything you don't want to. Don't be sorry for reacting the way you do, in _any_ situation. Because that is who you are, I don't want you to change or hide, remember? And… I'm kind of flattered…»

«Ok..» Kurt lift his head to look at Blaine. «I'm s…» He stops himself before he can apologize again. «Will you kiss me?» Kurt asks, looking at Blaine like he is not sure how he will react to the question. Kurt is still scared of what Blaine really thinks about him.

«Of course I will. It is like my new favorite thing…» Blaine leans in with a smile.


	32. Chapter 32

«Thank you for coming with me to the hospital» Kurt is driving his car while Blaine sits beside him.

«You don't have to thank me.» After they got home from Blaine's house they just relaxed, watched some tv and became comfortable around each other again.

«I don't like hospitals, even though I know that my dad is going to be ok, I just feel very uncomfortable there.»

«I know how you feel. I haven't actually got any good memories from hospitals either. But we will do this together and maybe we can change the bad memories we got into something better.» Kurt smiles at Blaine and wonders how lucky he was to find him when he did. Blaine can't be real. Maybe this is some kind of dream that he will wake up from any moment.

«Hey, where did you go?» Kurt hears Blaine's voice

«What..?»

«You kind of fell out of the conversation»

«Oh…I was just thinking…»

«About anything particular?»

«You…»

«Oh…» Blaine blushes. Kurt cant help but to think how cute he is when he does that.

«I kind of do that a lot»

«Thinking?»

«Yes…»

«About me?»

«Yes…»

«Oh…» Was all Blaine was able to say, still blushing. Kurt smiles satisfied, looking at the road in front of him. For once he got the upper hand, and it feels good to be this comfortable with Blaine.

They arrive at the hospital just in time for the visiting hours. The walk towards the room where Burt is and Kurt looks at Blaine.

«Are you sure you don't want to come inside to say hallo?»

«I think you need some time alone with your dad. Maybe later?»

«Ok, but are you sure you'll be ok out here alone» Kurt is worried about Blaine's memories of hospitals and how he is really coping.

«Yes, I'll be fine. I know you are in there, happy, healthy and alive waiting for me, and that helps.» He nods to the door and smiles. Kurt gives him a smile in return and enters the room where his father is lying in bed.

«Hi, dad!» Kurt is still smiling when he sees his dad. He looks much better and is not so pale anymore. «Are you feeling ok?»

«Hey, kiddo!» Burt answers looking at his son. «Still tired and still got a headache, but not so dizzy anymore. But Dr. Phillips says I have stay for one more night.»

«But then you can come home?»

«Yes, then I can come home.»

«I thought I lost you…» Kurt swallows and looks at his dad.

«I won't go that easily, Kurt. But I'm sorry I scared you.»

Burt is still looking at his son. There is something different with him. He can see something has changed in his eyes. In his posture too. Like he's not trying to blend in with the things around him anymore. It is like Kurt is really there, his son, that has been gone for him for so long is slowly coming back.

«He is back, isn't he?» Burt asked, still looking at Kurt, trying to read him.

«What..? Who..?» Kurt is confused.

«That boy who slept on the couch and came to the door, while you were pretending to be sick»

«Eh…» Kurt doesn't know how to respond to that.

«I am right, aren't I?» Burt still looks at his son, now with a knowing look. Kurt just nods and looks at anything but his father, his skin is turning red, not for the first time that day.

«Good» But says and smiles. Kurt relaxes and smiles too.

«Is he here with you?»

«Yes»

«Bring him in, I want to talk to him!» Kurt walks towards the door and motions for Blaine to come in to see his dad. He is little bit scared of what his father might be up to.

When Blaine is inside Burt says:

«Kurt, I want you to go to the cafeteria and get us some coffee.» Kurt can see that Blaine stiffens beside him.

«But…» Burt interrupts him before ha can protest.

«I'm not going to hurt him, Kurt. I'm the one tied to a hospital bed, remember? Off you go, I want to talk to him alone!» Kurt tries to say something, but nothing comes out, and he sighs, looks at Blaine and leaves the room. Blaine looks scared and uncomfortable.

«Hello, Blake, right? Get over here. I don't bite»

Eh..hi, sir. M-My name is Blaine. Nice to see you again. Hope you feel better soon.» Blaine holds out a shaking hand for Burt to take. Burt takes Blaine's hand and looks at him for a while. The silence is not doing anything good for Blaine's nerves.

«Thank you!» Burt says and Blaine is more confused. He looks at Burt.

«Eh..what?»

«Thank you for bringing my boy back!» Burt smiles kindly and grateful at Blaine.

«I don't know what you are talking about, Mr. Hummel»

«You found Kurt, and brought him back. He has been so lost for so long, and now he is coming back, and I now you had something to do with it.»

«Kurt found me too» Blaine answers and he is blushing and he doesn't know where to look.

«You really like Kurt, don't you?» Burt asks but he already knows the answer.

«Yes, sir…» Blaine whispers.

«I can see he really likes you too, Blaine. And please call me Burt.» Burt doesn't seem so scary anymore and Blaine soon finds himself having a proper conversation with him. Burt is a really great guy and a wonderful father.

When Kurt arrives back at the hospital room, he is surprised to find his dad and Blaine engaged in a conversation about football. They both look comfortable and relaxed and doesn't notice Kurt's presences at first. He smiles, he likes this picture.

«Your coffee is here» Kurt walks in and hand them the coffee.

«Oh…»Burt says. «I think my medication is kicking in. I'm very sleepy….I think you to should get going.»

«Ok, dad. Are you sure you are ok? Should I call for a nurse?» Kurt looks at his father with worry in his eyes.

«No, I'm just tired.» Blaine stands up and take one of the coffee cups from Kurt and puts it on the nightstand besides Burt's bed.

«It was nice meeting you, Mr Hummel…I mean Burt» Blaine says.

«You to Blaine» Kurt moves towards his dad and gives him a hug.

«Talk to you tomorrow then. Goodbye, dad.»

«Bye, Kurt. I love you, and I would love for you to bring your boyfriend home for dinner anytime soon.» Kurt gasps and Blaine stiffens again.

«I…we….I…» Kurt stutters. Burt is secretly enjoying this.

«Just say yes, Kurt. And now I have to sleep. See you tomorrow!»

«Yes…» Kurt whispers. So much for getting comfortable with Blaine. They walk out in silence, a weird atmosphere surrounding them. Kurt is once again panicking inside. And Blaine doesn't say anything to comfort Kurt this just stares straight ahead. Kurt cant help but think that Blaine spent much more time with his dad than he did. And what did his father say, what did he do. Did he scare Blaine away and what if….


	33. Chapter 33

«Please don't leave me!» Kurt desperately blurts out in the car at the hospital.

«Why would I leave? What are you talking about?» Blaine turns towards Kurt and looks confused.

«Because of what my father said….about you being my b-boyfriend…» Blaine takes Kurt's hand and stares at him for a while. Kurt is just looking out the window.

«Kurt, listen to me. Nothing your father says is going to scare me away from you. You have to trust me on that.»

«But why did you react the way you did?» Kurt is looking at Blaine again. «I could feel you being uncomfortable.»

«I wasn't uncomfortable because of what your dad said, Kurt. First I was thinking of how you would react, I don't know if you are ready for a boyfriend yet. And then I was thinking of how lucky you are.»

«What do you mean lucky?»

«You have a wonderful father that loves you very much, and accepts you for who you are. I'm so jealous of you. I don't think I'll ever have that kind of relationship with my father…» Blaine's eyes are sad, tears threatening to fall.

«I'm sorry, I didn't think of that. I always jump to conclusions and make up reasons and stories in my head for why things are the way they are. I'm sorry» Kurt leans towards Blaine and closes the gap between them, and he can feel Blaine relax against him. It feels so right to be kissing Blaine, it feels like home.

«I'm ready by the way…» Kurt leans back in his seat, lips still tingling with the touch of Blaine's soft and warm mouth.

«Ready for what?» Blaine asks, moving his thumb over the back of Kurt's hand.

«For a boyfriend…» Blaine stops his movements and looks at Kurt

«Oh…do I know him?» He can see the beautiful smile on Kurt's lip. His eyes narrows as the smile reach them.

«I think you do»

«I hope you think right this time, Mr. Hummel»

«Well, Mr. Anderson, this time I've only got one thought in my head, and that is to kiss my boyfriend.» Kurt drags Blaine by the collar of his shirt and presses his lips firmly onto Blaine's. Blaine gasps by the eagerness of Kurt and Kurt exploits the opportunity to slip his tongue inside Blaine's mouth. A whole new sensation is flowing through Kurt's body. Out into his finger tips, and down his spine. He can feel Blaine's hand behind his neck pulling him closer, and Blaine's tongue is warm and wet agains his. Kurt just loves the feeling, and don't want to let go. But soon they are both out of breath and has to separate.

«Wow…» Blaine says. «That was different»

«A good different I hope?»

«A very, very good different! And your _boyfriend_ is very happy.» Kurt laughs. He is very happy too. And he has a boyfriend. A thing Kurt never thought he was going to get. Someone special just for him.

«So, do you want to come home with me and continue doing _different_ things maybe?»

«Definitely!» They can't stop smiling the whole ride home to Kurt's house. And they definitely did continue do different things until their lips was red and swollen, and a little bit sore. But they didn't care. They were just happy and satisfied.

Later they were lying in Kurt's bed, Kurt's head on Blaine's chest, Kurt's arm around Blaine's hip.

«We should set the alarm for tomorrow» Blaine says.

«Mmm, do we have to?»

«Yes, I don't think you dad will be to pleased if he finds out I have been telling you to skip school twice in a row.»

«Probably not, but I'm gonna miss this while we're at school. And my dad will be home tomorrow, so…»

«I now, I'm gonna miss this too, and I now that I have to sleep at home from now on….But I'll be here as often as I can. And if you need me at school, just text me and I'll be there whenever.I wish we could have some of our classes together…»

«Yeah, me too…» Kurt sighs. «But you now what?»

«No..?»

«I don't dread going to school so much anymore, because I know you'll be there waiting for me.»

«Of course I will.» Blaine pulls Kurt even closer and the boys falls asleep in a tight embrace.


	34. Chapter 34

They decided to take Blaine's car to school the next day. The boys are happy and relaxed after waking up in each others arms. They almost had to skip breakfast because they struggled to get out of bed and let go of each others lips. But they ate in a hurry and now they are on their way and ready for a new day at school.

«How do you want to do this?» Blaine asks Kurt while he is parking the car. They haven't discussed how they were going to face the real world inside the school building.

«I don't know…» Kurt looks at Blaine. «Some part of me want to drag you inside and scream for everyone to hear that you are mine, but I know that I can't handle that. But I really wish I could…»

«I know…But I anyone asks me, do you want me to deny that you are my boyfriend?»

«No, Blaine I wouldn't want you to do that, I can't ask you to do that!» Kurt is shaking his head. «I just want to…I don't know…»

«Kurt, if you are not comfortable about this, we don't have to tell anyone yet.»

«I don't know why I feel this way. I want them to know. But I don't know if I can handle the attention and the reactions. Not yet. I'm sorry»

«Don't do that, Kurt Hummel!» Blaine is looking straight into Kurt's eyes. «I told you to not apologize for who you are and how you feel!»

«Ok…»

«Just tell me if things get too much in there, ok? And we don't have to tell anyone. But can I get a kiss before we go?»

They walk inside the school building together, but there is a distance between them. But Kurt can feel Blaine even if he isn't physically holding him or touching him. It calms Kurt and gives him confident. They stop outside Kurt's locker so Kurt can get his books for the first class.

«So..meet you at lunch?» Blaine asks carefully. They don't have any classes together and they are in different part of the school most of the day, so they won't see each other between the classes either. Not today.

«Yes, that would be nice.» Kurt smiles and closes his locker door.

«I usually sit with my friends from Glee, but if you are not comfortable with that, we can sit somewhere else. I don't mind..as long as you are there.»

«I don't know…» Kurt is biting his lower lip

«You don't have to decide now. We'll just see how things go today, ok?»

«Ok…but you don't have t…» Blaine stops Kurt before ha can say anything more.

«Stop, Kurt! I want to spend time with you because you are my boyfriend!» Blaine said a little louder than he intended to, but he needed Kurt to understand that he wants to do this.

«What?!» Their heads snaps toward the sound of a voice, jaws dropped and eyes widens. «Is that why you never returned my calls? You've been busy hiding you boyfriend? I thought you were sick or something» Blaine can feel that Kurt is very uncomfortable beside him, he looks around to see that the hallway is almost empty, he grabs Kurt's hand to calm him and to tell him that he is not going anywhere.

«I'm sorry, Sam. I totally forgot to call you back.» That was the truth. Sam called a couple of times during the time Blaine spent with Kurt in the hospital on Sunday. But much had happened after Sam called, that he actually forgot to call his friend. «It was a family emergency. Something I had to do….and…I'm sorry.» Kurt can feel something warm inside himself because of what Blaine unintentionally said. About a _family_ emergency. He likes that, Blaine being his family.

«Oh, I hope things are ok.» Sam looks concerned at Blaine.

«Yes, everything is ok now. Great actually…» Kurt can feel Sam's eyes on their linked hands.

«So….aren't you gonna introduce me to this boyfriend of yours?» Sam nods toward Kurt.

«Eh..» Blaine blushes and Kurt can't help to think he's cute, he gives Blaine's hand a squeeze, to say that he is ok. «This is Kurt, my…my boyfriend. Kurt, this is Sam my friend from Glee Club.»

«Nice to meet you, Kurt! I hope he hasn't been hiding you for very long.» Sam smiles at Kurt, and Kurt nods back. «And Blaine, we totally have some work to do before Glee this afternoon.»

«Oh my God I totally forgot that was why you were supposed to call me, so that we could practice for Glee later today.»

«Mhm….But you could totally blame it on Kurt or his lips or something.» Both boys are red as tomatoes. «I'll take that as a yes» Sam is pointing at them with a smirk. «But I'm sure Mr. Shue will be ok with that explanation. See you guys at lunch?» Sam doesn't wait for an answer, he just takes of down the hall.


	35. Chapter 35

«So, that was, Sam….He is the one I am closest to of the guys in Glee Club.» Blaine says, and looks at Kurt to see his reaction. «And he kind of knew that I liked you after you found out who I was.»

«Yes…He is the one calling you B…He seems nice and very energetic. But Rachel knows too. She figured it out, who I was, and I know you didn't tell her. You just couldn't keep your eyes of me apparently.» Kurt winks. Blaine chuckles.

«I have to go to class, but I will see you at lunch? Anywhere you'd like.»

«I think that maybe I would like to meet your friends, I kind of met two of them already, how many more can they be?» Kurt smiles.»But only if you are there and help me through it.»

«Of course I will, and you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. The Glee club is very accepting and they will like you for who you are. And you have already met Rachel, and she is the one that will probably choke you with her talking.» Blaine gives Kurt a quick hug and looks at him. «I have to go now, but I will meet you here before lunch and we can go together, if you still are up to it.»

«Ok» Kurt smiles and watch Blaine walk down the hallway.

Things are different today. Kurt walks around school with more confidence than he ever had, and it seems like people are nicer to him. At least he thinks so. They look nicer, but maybe it is because Kurt is looking at them. His head is held a little bit higher than before and he is not trying to hide as much. It feels better, but still many of the other students ignore him, but that is ok, he don't want to be someone that draws attention towards himself. He is fine with being in the background, as long as he has control.

The time until lunch is spent thinking about Blaine more than hiding away like he is used to do. He can't believe how lucky he is to have found someone like Blaine, so wonderful and caring and beautiful and sexy. Kurt is lost in a daydream about Blaine's hazel eyes and his warm lips and tongue against his own and hands exploring each others body when someone is interrupting him.

«You look different…» Kurt turns and sees Rachel standing by his desk. He forgot that the next class is math. He just stares at her, lost for words. «In a good way I mean.» She sits down on her chair besides him. «I was just thinking, maybe you would like to eat lunch with me and the glee club? We can talk more about the club, since you were interested to join a while back. And I really think your voice is what we need. Please say yes.» Rachel looks at Kurt and she can see that he is hesitant.

«Oh…I forgot about Blaine and what happened between you two…» But Kurt isn't hesitant because of that naturally, he just suddenly have the urge to tell someone about his boyfriend. And he wonders if he can tell Rachel. «I'm sorry for asking, you don't have to come…»

«Ok» Kurt answers «I'll eat lunch with you» Rachel looks surprised, but smiles. He doesn't tell her more though. She will probably be surprised again at lunch, but Kurt is ok with that, because Blaine will be there with him, and he expect Rachel to handle a surprise. Kurt is more occupied with the thought of eating lunch with others, and not alone and preferably in the back of the library or in an empty classroom. But it is a good thought, because three of them invited him to join them. And he is pretty sure they all asked because they really wanted to.

And now he is not analyzing how the lunch is going to be. He would have for only a couple of days ago. He would have tried to prepare something to say in case someone talked to him, and he would not know how to act around them, he would have been scared and tried to find a way out, an excuse to go home or somewhere else alone.

He still don't know how to act, he still don't know what to say, but Blaine will be there and because of that his silly, stupid thoughts doesn't matter as much anymore. The only thing that matter is Blaine. His boyfriend.


	36. Chapter 36

Blaine texts Kurt during the morning. Small messages with encouraging words, just to get Kurt through the day. Blaine is very happy that Kurt has decided to eat lunch with all of his friends in Glee Club, but he can't help to think that Kurt is only doing this for him. That Kurt honestly wish to eat somewhere else, a more quiet place. The thought of Kurt sacrificing himself for Blaine is not something Blaine like. Because Blaine wants Kurt to be happy, and to smile his pretty smile and for him to feel comfortable around other people. And if Kurt needs more time to get there, Blaine will give him all the time in the world. But he has to trust Kurt to tell him the truth. So he walks towards Kurt's locker to meet him before they go together to the cafeteria.

Kurt is stunning. He leans against the cool metal of his locker and fiddles with his phone. Blaine can't stop staring at him, he can't believe Kurt is his boyfriend. The butterflies in his stomach seem to have a party down there, and his heart is beating faster just by looking at Kurt.

«Hi» Blaine says when he comes close enough for Kurt to hear.

«Oh, hi»

«How was your day so far?»

«Ok, actually.» Kurt smiles «Spent my day mostly thinking of you.» Blaine chuckles. «And Rachel seem to think that she persuaded me to eat lunch with you guys, and she definitely doesn't know what's happened the last couple of days.»

«Oh, then she will be in for a surprise. But, Kurt, you are sure about this? I don't want to pressure you into something you don't want to do. Because earlier this morning you were not so sure…»

«Yes, I think so. This is something I have to do, meet your friends. Because you will spend time with them also, not just with me. And they are important to you and so is Glee. But if I can't handle the situation, I still got you there right?»

«Always, Kurt. And if you need to get out of there, just go. I come with you if you want to. The Glee club is used to people storming out of the choir room or of the stage. Usually it is Rachel or sometimes me, when I'm having a bad time. They are very accepting, but also very dramatic.»

«This little club of yours seems more and more interesting.» Kurt laughs. «But I promise, if things get too much, I will let you know.»

«Good, and you can always join in, to see the interesting life of the Glee kids from inside.»

«Don't push it, Anderson. I'll think this lunch is more than enough for now. And speaking of lunch…We should probably get going…»

They walk down the hall to the cafeteria. Blaine wish that he could hold Kurt's hand, like any other couple, but he won't risk that. They are in high school, they are gay and in Ohio. Not everyone is as accepting as his friends in Glee Club.

They enter the crowded cafeteria. The air is bussing with all the students in there, talking and laughing, and suddenly it hits Blaine why Kurt don't like this. To be alone in this chaos would be terrifying, intense and very lonely. Blaine doesn't know why he suddenly feel this way, and he looks at Kurt. Maybe he is sensing some of Kurt's feelings. Or maybe he is just being nervous. What if his friends isn't as accepting as he thought. He never actually brought a boyfriend for them to meet. Kurt seems to be ok, and he walks over to where the food is. Blaine follows him and they both get some salad and turn to see if the Glee Club has arrived yet.

Blaine is nervous. He knows it now. He really want them to like and accept Kurt, to see the wonderful guy he is. And Blaine is nervous for Kurt. What if he doesn't handle this and what if thing's get worse and he starts to hide again, and what if…

«I think your friends are over there. Shouldn't we join them?» Kurt interrupts his thought and looks at him.

«Yes…yes we should. Are you ok?»

«I am, but you are acting weird.»

«I just really want them to like you as much as I do. Maybe not as much, because I will not share you with anyone, but…And I want you to be ok.»

«I know, just lets get this over with…» Kurt takes a deep breath and wait for Blaine to lead the way across the cafeteria.


	37. Chapter 37

They are all there. Everyone in Glee Club is seated around the table. Blaine squeezes Kurt's arm to let him know that he is here, and then let go before anyone sees it.

«Hello, guys!» Blaine says. They look up, some answer with a simple «hi» and some of them nods. They are all engaged in different conversations. «Eh..there is someone…» Blaine starts, but before he can say anything further, Rachel almost screams in a bright voice.

«You came! Everyone, I would like to introduce you to a possible new member. This is Kurt!» That definately got all of their heads to turn and look again. Rachel smiles, proud of herself for maybe recruiting a new member. Blaine can feel that Kurt is getting uncomfortable, but he is still standing there trying to smile and act polite. But he doesn't say anything.

«Cool, dude, nice to meet you!» Finn says to Kurt, and everyone nods and agrees. Do you want to sit with us?» he motions to the chair between Rachel and himself. Blaine can see that Kurt is trying to form an answer, but nothing comes out.

«I think Kurt would like to sit next to his boyfriend» Sam says and gets up and move over to where Finn and Rachel is seated, so that there is two chairs next to each other at the end of the table. «Isn't that right, _Blaine_?» Blaine can feel himself getting very red and all eyes are on him.

«Yes…» Blaine whispers and nods.

«What?!» Rachel eyes widens. «Why didn't you tell me Kurt? How long has this been going on? Did you two trick me into thinking you had an argument? Ok, I don't care, this is so romantic, tell me everything!» Rachel says in one breath.

«Shut it, Berry!» Santana looks at her. «Can't you see that you are making them uncomfortable? Let them sit, I want to eat my lunch in peace and quiet from your annoying voice!» Rachel glares at Santana, but she doesn't say anything more. The boys sit down at the table and Blaine finds Kurt's hand under the table where no one can see. He gives it a gentle squeeze and let go. The conversations at the table is slowly starting up again, and everyone is acting the way Blaine hoped for. They talk to each other and includes Kurt, but doesn't think twice about that he doesn't answer or take part of the conversation other than maybe a nod here and there. Blaine can see that Kurt is much more relaxed now and Blaine smiles, because this is good.

«So, could you be more obvious?» Sam suddenly bumps into his shoulder. Some time during lunch, he and Finn switched places.

«What?» Blaine turns towards Sam.

«I can see the heart eyes right through you skull when you look at him, and red skin really suits you, B» Blaine is blushing furiously again.

«You really got it bad!» Sam smirks, and Blaine can hear a chuckle besides him. A wonderful sound, that goes right to Blaine's heart. Kurt is actually enjoying himself, and apparently he likes it when Blaine's friends teases him.

«Yes, Blaine, you look very adorable when you are blushing.» Tina says laughing. «So, Kurt, do you want to come to Glee rehearsals this afternoon? Just to watch us, if you're not up to auditioning. Or you could just come so we can all see Blaine blush like he is doing now.»Tina winks at Kurt, and he can't help but smile.

«I-I got something else t-today, but maybe next time.»

«Great! I hope you will, we really need some more voices in Glee. But I hope Blaine isn't going to whine through the whole rehearsal because he has to be apart from his sweet boyfriend.» She looks at Blaine again.

«Ok, thats enough!» Blaine cuts in. «You can all go back to what you were talking about before I became the person of interest. Boy is my kurtfriend…boyfriend…Kurt is my boyfriend. And I like him very much and it makes me blush, I know.» Everyone at the table is laughing now, including Kurt. «Don't let me get started on all of yours embarrassing stories, I haven't know you for that long, but I've got plenty on my list.» Blaine is trying to sound serious, but he can't stop the smile that is forming on his lips. Kurt is looking at him with his adorable blue eyes and he is laughing along with Blaine's friends and it feels so good.

Blaine doesn't want the lunch to end, because then he has to get back to class without Kurt. But soon the clock is telling them it is time to separate. His Glee friends are all telling Kurt that it was nice to meet him, and that they will be seeing him around.

Blaine and Kurt walk together to Kurt's locker, where he get his books for the next class.

«Thank you.» Kurt says

«For what?»

«Helping me through the lunch with your friends»

«I didn't do anything, you did it all by yourself!» Blaine smiles towards his boyfriend.

«But you were there. I knew that if I needed you, you were there.»

«You seem to enjoy most of it. Especially the parts where they were teasing me…» Kurt laughs again.

«Well, I am your kurtfriend after all.» He winks and closes the door to his locker.


	38. Chapter 38

Kurt is exhausted at the end of the school day, and he is very quiet in the car when Blaine drives him home. He spent the rest of the day, when Blaine was in Glee, in the library doing his homework. Kurt can feel that Blaine is worried again.

«Before you ask, I'm ok. Just tired, but in a good way. Your friends were nice and very welcoming, but being around so much people all day exhaust me.»

«Oh…I wasn't…»

«Yes you were…»

«Yes I was…I just want you to feel ok»

«I do. But I think I need some time alone to charge my batteries. To relax, and get all the impressions of the last couple of days sorted out of my head. Does that make sense?»

«Kind of…So what you are saying is that you want me to go home?»

«Actually I don't want that, but I think my brain need that. I want to be with you all the time, but I can't explain it….I'm sorry.» Blaine parks the car in the Hummel's driveway and turn toward Kurt. He sighs.

«Haven't I told you not to apologize for being you. You don't have to explain, just say you need some time. I'll be waiting.»

«What have I done to deserve you?» Blaine chuckles and Kurt takes his hand.

«I have to pick up my dad from the hospital today, and I think I got some explaining to do when he gets home…

«But can I call you later?» Blaine asks hopefully.

«Of course you can.»

«And can I get a kiss, before you go?» Kurt doesn't answer, he just grabs Blaine and pulls him towards himself and kiss him. It gets heated and soon they have to break apart for air.

«God, I wanted to do that all day!» Blaine pants.

«I know…» Kurt gives him on more kiss on the lips before he goes

«Bye, Blaine, talk to you later.» He closes the door and walk up the driveway and unlocks the front door of his home.

Kurt can feel a comfortable silence surround him when he enters his house. He got an hour before he has to drive to the hospital and pick up his father. And he is going to use that for all it is worth. No sound, no one that want to talk, no on that expects something of him. Just silence, and peace and just Kurt.

He feels a little bit guilty for telling Blaine to go home, but he just need this time all by himself. There has been so much happening in Kurt's life the last couple of days and he needs to sort out his thoughts and all the impressions. Some of the things that happened has been bad, but most of it has actually been very good. But still Kurt knows that he needs to let it sink in and let his brain process what has happened.

Still, Kurt is not happy about it. Finally he has got a wonderful boyfriend, that he doesn't deserve, and after only 24 hours he is asking for space. Blaine is too kind and patient, and Kurt wonders if that will last.

Just like always it is too much. Even the good things gets too much. And Kurt needs the world to pause for a while.

An hour later Kurt is driving to the hospital. He is glad that his dad is ok and that he is coming home. But he knows that Burt probably has some questions for him about Blaine when he gets home. And Kurt can't help but to feel a bit anxious about that. What if his dad doesn't like Blaine, even though it seemed so at the hospital? What if he thinks Kurt is to young to have a boyfriend? What if he don't actually approve of him being gay now that he has a boyfriend? What if…Kurt is right back to overthinking and worrying about everything.

Kurt parks the car and mentally slaps himself. No wonder he is exhausted all the time. His dad loves him and he supports him, Kurt knows that, but his brain wander off by it self all the time. Maybe there is something wrong with it? Maybe he is the one who should be in a hospital?

«Arrgh» Kurt groans and hit the steering wheel hard. He let out his breath and walk out of the car and towards the hospital.

«Blaine,» he thinks, «I need Blaine to keep me grounded»

 **A/N: Would love to hear what you think! :)**


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: My heart bleed for Paris and France this morning.** **Sometimes** **I just** **want** **jump of this cruel and miserable** **earth... :(**

 **Well, here is another chapter. It was good to lose focus and jump into this fiction world for a while and just forget about the pictures on the news. -J**

«So,» Burt says, «Do you want to tell me about him?» They are seated in the living room of the Hummel's home after dinner.

«You need to rest, dad» Kurt answers and looks anywhere but the place his father is sitting.

«I can put my feet up on the couch and lay down, if that help, Kurt, but we are still talking about this.» Burt smiles «And I'm fine, I swear!»

«Ok» Kurt whispers and takes a deep breath before he begins. «H-he wasn't my b-boyfriend» He stutters.

«Oh, then I was wrong, I'm sorry you two just seemed so….» Burt doesn't finish his sentence.

«I said he _wasn't_ when we visited you, b-but he is now» Kurt thinks that by this point he should be used to the warm, red feeling creeping up his neck and face. Burt is smiling again, and that makes Kurt relax a little. His dad is ok with this, but that doesn't mean it's not embarrassing to talk about.

«We kind of got together in the car after we said goodbye to you that day.» Burt eyes narrows and he is about to say something, but Kurt opens his mouth first. «We t-talked in the car, _talked»_ Kurt is afraid his dad misinterpreted what he said about getting together in the car. «J-just talked about it!»

«Mhm…» Burt says and turns to Kurt with a pointed look. Kurt is sweating in his hands by now.

«Ok…maybe we k-kissed t-too» Kurt is staring right ahead waiting for Burt's reaction.»And Blaine kind of b-been s-sleeping here since you went to the hospital. Just sleeping nothing else, I swear.»

Burt doesn't say anything for a while, and Kurt is anxious for what to come. But suddenly Burt laughs and gives Kurt a big smile.

«Sorry, I just had to let you squirm in your seat for a minute.» Kurt dares to look at his father again, he sees the big smile he is giving him and Kurt let out his breath slowly. «I am glad you found Blaine» He says. «He seems like a good guy, and I like him. And I can see that he is good for you, Kurt. He brought back my little boy again. You have been lost for me for a long time and now you are smiling again and the life is back in your eyes. I have been so worried about you and now I think that things are looking better. If that boy is bringing you and your smile back to me, I don't care if he has been sleeping over without you telling me, because I trust you, Kurt. And I don't think you would do anything you aren't ready for, because you don't do that. You need to know that you are safe before you jump into something new.» Kurt smiles and gives Burt a hug.

«Thank you, dad. You are the best, and I love you. And I'm sorry for slipping away from you, I did miss you, but I didn't know how to ask for help, because I doesn't know what's wrong with me. But I feel so much better now. Blaine is helping me, and he doesn't expect anything from me but to be myself.» Burt turns toward Kurt again with a serious look.

«Kurt, first of all: There is nothing wrong with you! I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression that there was. And I'm sorry if I made you believe that you are not good enough. Second: I will never, ever expect you to be someone you're not! All I'll ever expect from you is for you to be yourself and to do your best. That's it! Nothing more. Except tell me next time your boyfriend is staying the night so I can prepare myself for the talk we need to have soon, about boyfriends staying in the same bed and…you know the rest» Kurt eyes are wet with tears from Burt's words, but he is blushing again when he mentions _the talk_. He can't form any word himself and Burt continues.

«Like I said, Kurt, I trust you, but I think we need to talk about sex anyway because you are not a child anymore. And I like to tease you a little bit. But I like Blaine and you should tell him that he is welcome anytime in this house.»

«Thank you so much, dad!» Kurt whispers while he dries his tears and smiles.


	40. Chapter 40

After Blaine drops Kurt of at the Hummel's house he drives home. He wishes he could have stayed with Kurt, but he knows that Kurt need to be alone and Blaine gives him space even though he wants to be around Kurt 24/7.

His mother's car is in the driveway when he get to his house. Blaine doesn't know how to feel about that. He hasn't seen or spoken to his parents for a couple of days, and his mother never answered him when he texted her on Sunday when he was at Kurt's house.

Blaine enters the house and takes of his jacket and puts his bag down before he goes into the kitchen. He is surprised to find his mother there, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in her hands, staring in front of her. Normally she would be working with something and she never has the time to sit down and do nothing. At the sound of Blaine steps she looks up with a strange look.

«Where have you been?» She asks like she actually need to know and Blaine is surprised to hear that she is worried.

«I just got home from school…» Blaine eyes his mother tentatively.

«But you haven't been home for days, Blaine.» She answers accusingly

«I sent you a message on Sunday, about my friend that needed help, which you never answered. And if you actually have been worried, you should have called like any other normal parent!» Blaine was getting angry at this point. «What different does it make if I'm home, you are never around anyway! You don't care what I do, as long as I don't talk about the dead or who I am and just pretend that everything is fine. You just want me to be a fucking robot that doesn't make any trouble for you, just act «normal» and don't have feelings!» His mother flinches at his angry words. «But you know what?» Blaine is screaming now and letting everything out.»I'm a human being and I do have feelings and I do need my parents to love me and accept me for who I am!» Blaine is shaking of anger and he breathes fast. He continues to scream accusations at his mother and, shouts about Kevin and Kurt and in the end is all mixing together and makes no sense for anyone that hears it. When he is done, Blaine slides down on the kitchen floor while he is still shaking and his tears of anger are running down his face. All that can be heard in the room is Blaine's heartbreaking sobs.

Blaine doesn't know how long he sits on the kitchen floor, it could be seconds or minutes, but suddenly he feel the embrace of his mother. She is holding him hard against her own body, head on top of his and she whispers comforting words at him.

«I'm sorry, baby, I do love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry»

Half an hour later mother and son is seated at the kitchen table with one cup of coffee and on cup of hot chocolate, just like the one Blaine remembers from he was little, when everything was different in his family. He holds the cup of chocolate like it is some kind of anchor that keeps him grounded. No one is talking for a long time, but eventually his mother breaks the silence.

«I never told you about my sister, did I?» She starts. Blaine looks surprised up at her, still holding the cup in a tight grip.

«She was so beautiful, and everybody liked her. Sometimes I was even jealous at her, because she got all the attention. She never let it go to her head though, and she was my best friend. When she was 16 and I was 15, she died. Car accident. I was so broken after that. I let myself be buried in grief for so long, and I didn't know how to get out of it. My life was ruined for several years after the accident.» Blaine looks at his mother, trying to understand what she is saying. «I saw how close you where. You and Kevin. And when he got sick, I could see how the lights from your eyes were slowly disappearing, how it in a way died with him. And I couldn't let you slip away from life like I did. I didn't want you to experience that. When my sister died I was so consumed by her and her death, and I tried to not let that happen to you. That was why I acted like I did. I tried to protect you, by keeping the memories at a minimum.» Blaine stares at the woman in front of him and slowly he is catching up on what she is saying. «But I can see now that I was wrong, by not letting you grieve and remember your best friend. I'm sorry….Can you please forgive me…?» The last words came out as a whisper. Blaine is confused and don't know how to respond. He can't seem to find the right words, so the tears take over once again. Not angry tears this time, but tears of sadness, and relief maybe.

«I have so many things I got to apologize for, Blaine. To you, and to your brother. I haven't been a real mother to you for years. But I never stopped loving you. Please remember that.» The cup of chocolate in Blaine's hand is getting cold by now, his hands are still clasped around it.

«Your father left this weekend. And I don't think he will be coming back.»

«Oh…» Was all Blaine was able to let out. He didn't see that one coming either.

«He has been having an affair for a while, and when I found out, I started to think about my life. And the things that I found important isn't that important anymore. It hit me that I didn't have the slightest idea how my boys are actually doing. All I did was work. We never talk, or spend time together. I don't want to lose you too! So I left my job, the money I inherited from your grandparents will be enough for a long time. I've decided that I will do everything for you and Cooper so that you will forgive me and let me be you mother again.» Blaine can see that his mother is telling the truth and that she is determined to follow this through. He gets up and walks toward his mother, still tears in his eyes. He hugs her, and she does the same.

«I missed you, mum…»

«I missed you too, honey. But now, will you tell me about you friend? The one you spent the last couple of days with.»She looks at Blaine with a small smile «And the one that makes you blush all of a sudden.»

«O-ok.» Blaine starts. It is strange suddenly to be able to talk to his mother again, but it feel good. «His name is K-Kurt….»

 **A/N: I believe this story is getting closer to the end, but I'm still not sure how many chapters there are left. Please tell me how what you think so far. :) -J**


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: After some time of thinking about what to do, I decided to finish this story, because I don't know how to continue. So this is the last chapter. Thank you for reading and commenting! It has been fun :) -J**

«Hi, Blaine!» Kurt answers the phone after the first signal.

«Hi, Kurt! How are you? Did everything go fine with your dad?» Blaine asked his boyfriend.

«Yes, and I should tell you that you are welcome over anytime as long as I tell dad before the next time you sleep over. He even threaten to give me _the talk.»_ Kurt shudders. Blaine laughs.

«I can totally imagine your face when he said that.»

«It was so embarrassing….» Blaine laughs again. Then someone is speaking to Blaine, but Kurt can't hear what they say.

«Eh…yes I will…» Blaine says to the other person. «Kurt, I'm supposed to tell you that you are welcome in my house when ever you want to. My mother says she can't wait to meet you.» Kurt doesn't know how to respond to that. He got the impression that Blaine wasn't very close with his mother.

«Oh….A-are you serious?»

«Yes, Kurt, and so is she. We had a long talk this afternoon and we sorted out some things.I don't know if I can forgive everything right away, but maybe soon. I will tell you another time. But it is good.»

«I'm glad, and you sound so happy, Blaine.» Kurt smiles into the telephone.

«Yes, I think so, but I would be even happier if you were with me…I saw you just hours ago, but I miss you, is that strange? I'm not crowding you, am I?» Blaine sounds suddenly anxious.

«No, you don't, and I miss you too. It is different with you, I want to spent every second with you. I just had to get things sorted out today, and I know now that you make me better by being there with me.»

The boys talk for a long time and don't want to let go, and go to bed.

«I wish I still could sleep next to you, Kurt. I feel kind of lonely and cold here in my bed all by myself.» Blaine fakes a sob and Kurt chuckles.

«I miss your body too, Blaine.»

«Hey, that is all I am to you? A body?» Blaine fakes a shocked sound. Kurt laughs out loud and Blaine can't help to think that it is the most wonderful sound in the world.

«Of course not. I miss all of you very much. But I wish your body was here to keep me warm under the blanket.»

«Yeah…me too…» Blaine agrees. «Is your father asleep?»

«Yes, I think so. Why do you ask?»

«I'm coming over! Can you open the door for me in five minutes?»

«Are you crazy? Didn't I just tell you that I promised to tell my dad next time you are going to sleep over?» Kurt's heart is beating hard in his chest by the thought of sneaking around in the house with his dad sleeping in his bedroom.

«Who said anything about sleeping?» Blaine answers. «See you in five?»

«Eh, yes! Of course yes.» Kurt couldn't believe what he was about to do, but he missed Blaine so much, even though he hours ago said the he needed space. It was strange how much he was drawn to Blaine, like he was the missing piece that put Kurt back together.

Blaine was right, they didn't sleep. They kissed and cuddled into the night. And Blaine snuck out in time to get a few hours of sleep before school. The boys continued to do so on the days they missed each other the most.

The weeks came and went in a bliss of happiness and joy for Kurt and Blaine. Every minute they had free, they spent together and they continued to explore and got to know each other pretty well. Kurt eventually joined Glee Club. He auditioned with a duet together with Blaine, and everyone was astonished by the beauty in Kurt's voice.

Kurt actually befriended several of the glee kids and they were just as welcoming and understanding as Blaine had told him. But still Kurt needed his time alone, in peace. He needed to slip away from the world a bit and just be himself. The difference from now and before was that he could do this with Blaine, because Blaine knows and understands, and he never drains him for energy. Blaine fills him with everything that he needs.

Blaine's relationship with his mother got better as time went by. And his brother moved back to the state and was again an important person in Blaine's life. And life was good.

After several of months of exploring the wonderful joy of kissing and making out, the boys started to explore more. Naked bodies, hands and mounts traveling south, moans, whines, heartbeats, shivers and ecstasy.

«Thank you!» Kurt whispered to Blaine after they came down from their highs of having sex one of the first times. «Thank you for helping me back out into the world. I love you.»

«You don't have to thank me, Kurt. You done more for me than you know, and I love you too. Always.»


End file.
